Thank You for Not Smoking

Horseshoe Bay - Nanaimo 

Tuesday 23 April 2019

Whilst the debate over the abolition of smoking in public spaces rages on in the UK, Canada has taken another step and has legalised the use of Marijuana. But before I get too far into this blog, I should state that I have no particular leanings either way on the legalisation of cannabis. It’s not something that I have spent a lot of time considering. So to me, trading smoking in enclosed public spaces for getting high in a public park seems reasonable. I’m not going to do either so that’s as far as my internal deliberation got. Now if they were to allow it in the workplace I might be interested! It would certainly make Mondays go with a bit more swing.

Despite my fence sitting stance, I can say that it does give Vancouver a rather pungent odour. Rather sweet and sickly and it takes a while to get used to it being normal. 

It doesn’t seem to have had a negative effect on the streets of Vancouver. It would be interesting to see what the crime statistics are since the legalisation, or for that matter the level of pizza sales in the downtown area. There are a lot of pizza joints, I wonder if they have always been there? 

It also lead to a rather unusual request. 

We were setting off from Horseshoe Bay on a car ferry towards Vancouver Island, and had just settled down to our second breakfast (well it was 10am!), when the ship’s tannoy crackled into life. “May we remind you that this is a no smoking vessel and that smoking is prohibited anywhere on the vessel. This includes the outdoor areas. Could the person who is smoking marijuana on the deck please stop because we can smell it in the bridge and the Captain is getting stoned, and believe you me this is not something that anyone wants. Just to be on the safe side, however, we have ordered pizzas.” 

Well it was something like that. I may have misheard. Thankfully we got to our destination in one piece and without any mishaps, although the vessel did seem to take a rather circulatory route!

Automobiles for the People

Tofino

Tuesday 23 April 2019

Yes for sure, this is certainly a car dominated society. They are everywhere and they are huge! Vancouver, our first destination on the trip, may be going through a public transport revolution, there are still cars everywhere. The city fringes are dominated by shopping malls with accompanying acres of parking. The streets are super wide, many accommodating six lanes of traffic. As a pedestrian, just trying to cross the constant stream of cars can be a risky proposition. And if  anyone thinks Auckland streets are hazardous, Vancouvers are on a whole new another level. Even if you do get the light to cross the intersection, you still need to give way to turning vehicles. Further afield, simply put, you not going to get far without one.

So rent one we did. Due to the unknown territory, we opted to hire a mid-sized SUV. Not for the space of course, but for the safety features we thought wee might need when negotiating mountain roads. To us, a mid-sized SUV wasn’t a seven seat 3.0L tank. This thing was huge. Or at least it was in comparison to what we thought we were hiring. By North American standards, however, it was tiny. 

It’s fair to say that we were a little apprehensive about driving in Canada. Not because we were afraid of the standard of the infrastructure, but because we hadn’t driven on the ‘wrong’ side of the road for nearly five years. Well not in a car the size of a tank anyway.

Luckily, my skills had been honed by years of driving in fictitious American cities in numerous video games. Actually, thinking about the carnage that I typically caused from my absent mindedness,  that perhaps shouldn’t be taken a reliable indication of my driving skills whilst in a foreign country. Nevertheless, once we got used to the road rules, or rather the lack of them, we soon got the hang of it. 

Actually, whilst I’m on the subject of road rules what is it with Canadian speed limits? 80kph (50mph) on a modern highways seems to be woefully slow and it was only through the selective use of cruise control that I was able to stay anywhere near the posted speed limit. But we were on holiday, is a beautiful part of the world and absolutely in no rush to get anywhere quickly. All good.

And so, as the asphalt rolled under our not insubstantial wheels, I got to thinking. I know, but still. British Columbia has given, and I assume by extension so does the rest of Canada, a huge amount of land to the motor vehicle. Small towns are split apart by six lane highways, parking lots dominate town planning and pedestrians are strictly second class. We should probably be grateful for even getting footpaths, even if they do suddenly end for no apparent reason.

Is this then, the natural conclusion of a car dominated society? Is this where New Zealand will end up if we continue down the same road? Pun totally intended. Let’s hope common sense prevails. It’s a real shame that we couldn’t have made this journey by train and really have enjoyed the experience. And just as that thought left my mind, I spotted the exit we were looking for, indicated and pulled off to the right. Only another 150km to go and we’d be where we needed to be. 

Above: Our mid-sized SUV third from the right

Sir, is this Scenery?

Banff, Alberta

Tuesday 30 April 2019

My Dad once told me about a school trip he organised to take some kids from Peterlee to a nearby country park. Once the bus got beyond the outskirts of the town and as urban buildings gave way to green fields, one of the kids pointed out of the window to the countryside and asked “Sir, is this scenery?”.

Well goodness knows that pupil would make of the scenery in Canada, well British Columbia and Alberta to be precise - I can’t vouch for whatever lies to the east of the Rockies. 

Vancouver, our arrival point, is a fairly pretty city. It’s no Auckland but nice nonetheless. An I a similar way it has harbours, a few islands and typical coastal city type facilities. Just like Auckland Domain, Vancouver has Stanley Park to provide some greenery bathing. We really enjoyed our few days here and it’s really only once you get beyond the city boundary that the landscape really explodes into life. 

We spent a few idle days in the mountain resort of Whistler and despite the low clouds and snow fall it is in an undeniably stunning setting. Were it not for the dozens of snowboarders milling around it could be Keswick. 

A short cable car ride up the mountain really opened up the vista and we were only thankful that we had decided to get a return ticket and didn’t have to negotiate the snow-clad precipitous slopes to get back to our hotel. It would’ve been quick but not necessarily pain free.

Equally, the train we took from Vancouver to Banff travelled mostly on a single track and spent a great deal of the time hugging the side of a mountain like its  life depended upon it. Which it probably did, as did ours. The train, dwarfed by the snow-capped peaks that towered above us served to emphasise that this was scenery scaled up by a factor of “Wow!”. 

Admittedly, New Zealand has similar views but the lack of infrastructure means that you will need serious kit to see the best of them. Not to mention a pretty good level of fitness and a keen sense of direction. Not for the faint-hearted and certainly not views you can see whilst sipping Sauvignon Blanc and eating cheesy nibbles.

And just like New Zealand, British Columbia is blessed with an expanse of coastline on the Pacific, and with that beaches, harbours and miles of coastline to explore. Sitting on a beach or bench and gazing out to sea has to be one of the more grounding and calming ways to while away some time.

In just a few weeks we have seen beautiful coastline, rugged mountains and glacial blue rivers. Canada, or at least this part of it, is certainly a beautiful country and is reminiscent of New Zealand. As with all things one is encouraged to offer an opinion. So which is better? Hhhmmm, I’d rather not say. 

Somewhere Over the Pacific

Wednesday 17 April 2019

One of the unexpected side-effects of living in New Zealand us that a lot of places suddenly seem ‘just around the corner’. Not that they are, of course, its just that to get anywhere else needs quite a bit of effort so places that may previously seemed far-off suddenly don’t. Or, to put it more succinctly, only one flight away. That’s why, with a few days off for Easter we ended up travelling to the other side of the Pacific and checking out Canada. 

It really couldn’t have been any simpler;  finish work at 4pm, a short drive to the airport, get on a flight out of Auckland at 8pm and wake up in British Columbia. The only troublesome aspect being that you arrive at 2pm almost exactly six hours before you left. Luckily I’ve always liked Wednesdays so that worked out all right! It certainly was a bit odd arranging to meet a friend at 6pm when we didn’t actually leave New Zealand until 8pm.

A while ago, when we first announced our plans for our Easter trip we were told, on more than one occasion, that Canada was just like a scaled up version of New Zealand. That is, sea, mountains, lakes and an over reliance on motor vehicles as a primary means of transportation. Whether or not this or the other unsolicited opinions we had been given were true, we were sure looking forward to finding out.

Summer’s Almost Gone

To borrow a popular UK advertisement for a moment, Carlsberg doesn’t do summers, but if they did they would probably look a lot like a New Zealand summer.

With average daytime temperatures usually hanging around the mid to high teens they are not particularly scorching. Unlike our neighbours across the ditch where thirty plus is not uncommon. Frankly, they can keep ‘em. 25 degrees is perfect for me. Warm enough to feel comforted and still be able to be active but without the feeling that you’re slowly being dried into dust. In fact, temperatures here are so consistent during the summer months that you need to make sure that you have plenty of shorts to wear because you’ll be wearing them every day.....and night. And this being New Zealand, no-one will take take a second look if you walk into a restaurant or bar in flip flops, a T-shirt and shorts. It’s all good.

Then there is the rain, or rather the lack of it. Even in Auckland, which is derided by the rest of the country for being a little damp, I can count on one hand the number of days rain this summer. Even though it’s pouring down as I type this, New Zealand summers are fairly consistent. Planning an outdoor event? No problem, just go right ahead. It’ll be fine. Even if it does rain, it’ll be intense, short and warm. And once that’s passed, the sun will be back and you get about getting about your business. No point wearing a coat, far too warm for that. Just get wet and dry out. 

With the sun popping it’s head above the horizon at 6am and settling down at night a 9am, at least up north in Auckland, the days aren’t fantastically long, but enough to get stuff done outside. And you’ll be outside an awful lot. Whether it’s in the mountains, on the beach or just wandering around. I do miss the long UK nights when it doesn’t get dark until 10pm but the Kiwi hours of daylight are a fair trade off for the more stable weather. And I certainly don’t miss the 4am wake up call of daybreak in the UK thank you very much.

But weather alone does not a summer make. Fortunately New Zealand is surrounded by water, which means beaches and sea. Plenty of them. Even in the most populated city of Auckland it’s absolutely no bother to find an empty beach. A little imagination and local know-how is all you need to get away from the popular spots and crowds. Just remember to take plenty of water, sunblock and a towel and your all good. There will almost certainly be a Pohutakawa tree to shelter under.

So it’s with great sadness, that I have to admit that summer is almost over. With the arrival of April comes the onset of Autumn. Darker nights are just around the corner, less stable weather and with that rain. Once the clocks are put back an hour tomorrow, it will be time to put away the garden umbrella, stow the beach towels for another year, turn off the anti-mosquito spays and give Bernie the Barbecue a clean down. Temperatures are not going to dip below 20 degrees for a month or two so it’s not all bad, and to be fair Auckland doesn’t get that cold. But it’s not summer. Pretty soon the sea temperatures will drop leaving only brave or foolhardy souls to endure being in the water without a wetsuit. Sure shorts are still ok but you might want a fleece jacket until the sun comes gets it’s act together.

It’s a long old haul to spring from here. At least if October seems like a long way off, there’s alway the option to escape to a South Pacific island for a few days. It’s the Cook Islands for us this year. A few days soaking up warmth mid-winter is just enough time to recharge reserves and set you up for the final push.

But that’s for later. Still time enough to enjoy the last hurrah of summer. Or Autumn I guess. It’s hard to tell. It has gone a bit cooler - last night was the first time in a long while that we didn’t have to sleep with the bedroom window open - shoulder seasons aren’t really a thing here. It’s sort of summer then it’s not. At the moment shorts and t-shirts are still ok and will be until they’re not. And by then a week in Rarotonga will be coming into view....and from there it’s only a short hop back to summer. And like I said, Carlsberg doesn’t do summers, but if they did they would probably look a lot like a New Zealand summer...,,

I Want to Ride My Bicycle

You don’t really know a city until you have seen it for the seat of a bicycle. Or at least that’s what people tell me. And when I say people I actually mean cyclists. And when I say cyclists I actually mean keen cyclists. 

I’ve certainly seen a fair but more of this fair city recently. You see February was Bike Auckland Challenge month in which like minded souls tried to convince those less minded to get out on two wheels and roll out those miles. Or in the case of New Zealand, kilometres. And kilometres means points. And naturally points add up to a team score and at the end of the month the points are tallied and the team  with the most points wins. Or at least that’s the theory.

It’s all of course friendly and non-competitive . Except it’s not. I know you will find this hard to believe, but I became a little bit obsessed. Not too much, just a healthy obsession. So it became routine each morning to log on and scrutinise the points table and wondering how on earth an obscure team had a managed to jump above us in the table. I mean, they weren’t even close yesterday. Had they been riding overnight? Heck, they weren’t even engineers! How was it even possible? Maybe someone in our team wasn’t pulling their weight. Yes that must be it! Slackers. Who was it? Hang on a minute, that team there has ringers in it. How could an employee have done 180km in one day? Who were they - Chris Froome? Let’s check their Strava account..... hey, they’re not even based in Auckland. That’s not on. Deep breath..... Better have a cup of tea and a lie down. Wait, I’m already in bed. Phew that was a close shave.

And so on it went, throughout February. 

As it turns out, it was really good timing for me - I picked up an injury in December that prevented me from partaking in my normal running routine. Actually I’m not being entirely honest there - I didn’t pick up an injury as such. Rather I ignored an ache in my foot, figuring that it would go away. After all isn’t the best course of action for an injury to keep doing the thing that probably caused it in the first place! Exactly.

To cut a long story short, a niggle in December became an ache in January, and eventually an ache became a pain. Pretty soon no amount of Neurofen was enough to mask the searing pain I felt whenever I put my foot down on the ground. Which as it turns out is quite a lot. Who knew?

So I was told to rest up. And this time I knew my physio meant it. Not like the last time when I assumed when my physio said stop running for a few weeks they actually meant run less.... for a day or two.

Thankfully cycling wasn’t ruled out...or at least they didn’t tell me that it was. But then again I didn’t ask - it’s a lot easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.  

Boy does cycling take up a lot of time. Whereas a short 5k run can give you a quick and vital fitness top-up in less than thirty minutes, you have to comitt a full hour or so on two wheels to get the same benefit. 

And it’s not just that. Whereas a run is a great time to switch off and put things into perspective, try that in a bike in a city and you’ll soon be swapping switching off for checking out. Sheesh car drivers are ignorant. On the plus side, it really helps develop a kind of sixth sense and just trying to figure out what on earth is going to happen next becomes all encompassing. Where a gentle roll down a hill should be a time to relax and take in the scenery, instead it’s a tense time. As the speed picks up, so does the risk of something unforeseen happening.

Take just last week. I was travelling down Onehunga Mall at a relatively relaxed pace, eyes scanning the road head, and well away from the parked cars with doors that suddenly open. One risk avoided. A cross roads intersection was next. A van and car were waiting patiently on each of the side roads to let me pass..... except ahhh no. The driver of the white car decided that I wasn’t really there and proceeded to cross the intersection. Right in front of me. It all happened it slow motion, even though it was anything but. Travelling at 40kph in shorts and a thin top through traffic really does focus ones attention. The sudden emergence of a car into my path was a problem.....

There is a temptation to overstate the danger, especially when it’s a shock such as this, but I knew it was bad because the driver of the van put his hands to his eyes and mouthed fu....well you can imagine. There was nothing else for it. I slammed the brakes on....

At this point it’s worth mentioning that road bike brakes are, well, piss poor. Or at least they are unless you have disc brakes fitted. Which I didn’t. And the thin and large wheels don’t make for great manoeuvrabilityx So I slid sideways. Thankfully my years of mountain biking, and before that BMX, has given me reasonable bike handling skills. I used the skid to my advantage and slid behind the car as it crossed my lane and went on it’s way, the driver oblivious to the distress and potential death they had nearly caused. Meanwhile, the guy in the van dropped his hands and I like to think watched in awe as I skilfully averted the distater. 

Close shaves aside, I've actually grow to like cycling again and get a kick out of planning just where I’ll ride next and how far. And I’m getting better. Where once 20km was a typical distance, I’m regularly knocking out 80km. I’m not particularly fast but you don’t get points for speed. Far is better than fast in Bike Auckland Challenge month. And even if speed points were up for grabs, why rush? Auckland is such a beautiful place to roll around. And besides, there’s always next month to pick up the pace.....

Bug Bears

I’ve got a theory......

When you arrive somewhere new, it’s only natural to seek out the familiar - something that you can relate to and ground yourself in your new surroundings.

For some it’s a familiar food, for others it’s a television or radio programme. Whatever gets you through the day. Just a little bit of something to keep you on your upright axis. After a while, and how long will depend upon the strangeness of your environment, you start to compliment your old familiar favourites with new sounds, smells, tastes and experiences. Then, without you even realising it, you have a whole new set of familiar things and have grounded yourself in your new environment. You’ve got a brand new comfort zone.

I know this to be true because it happened to us. Little by little we started to appreciate the new the things around us as we slowly adjusted and settled in to our new surroundings. It could be the way certain destinations were announced on the train each morning or the odd beep that New Zealand pedestrian crossings make. These things slowly began to become familiar and intertwine with our everyday lives.

All of which is a rather elaborate, long winded and no doubt unnecessary way of introducing you to the Bug Bears. Shortly after we arrived, NZ Bus began running an ad campaign on their fleet to promote more considerate travel. I can’t comment on whether it was an effective campaign as we didn’t see behaviours before, but it certainly had an influence on us. Not that we were particular unsociable bus passengers, at least we don’t think we were, but it became a welcome sight as we travelled around our new city.

Settling down into our favourite seat - doesn’t everyone have one of those? - the first thing we looked for was the Bud Bear poster. Which Bug Bear would we see today? Would it be a new character or an old familiar? How many others could we name? Well is passed the time anyway.

Then, without warning, they were gone. Replaced without ceremony with a new campaign. I’d like to think that we cared. But we hardly even noticed. We’d moved on and found new things to become old things. 

Gone but not forgotten, so here for prosperities sake are the Bug Bears......

Bloody Ray and his aisle blocking antics! Move down the bus and let other people on. Evidently, aisle blocking is a thing but is not something that I saw a lot of, and even if it was, does it deserve to be number 1? I seriously doubt it. Which takes us to.....

Now this, I can relate to. There is absolutely no excuse for dropping stuff in the bus only to leave your fellow,passengers fuming as an empty can rolls up and down the floor of the bus. Do us a favour Lenny and sort yourself out. Put your mess in a bin when you get off the bus - you can’t miss it - it’s the one that has been conveniently placed right opposite the bus door when you get off. You know, the one that you almost always walk into....

Freddy is just a slob. Princess drool for the bus travelling age, no doubt content is his laid back and nonchalant attitude at the expense of everyone else. Again, not something that was prevalent so maybe it was a preemptive strike?

Now this.....this.....should’ve been way up top. Number 1. Prime spot. In some ways it’s comforting to know that Barney is the same the world over. Or Bertie or Belinda for that matter. Yes it’s great to get a double seat to yourself, but not when others need the seat. Looking out of the window and trying to pretend that you haven’t noticed what’s going on doesn’t let you off the hook. Maybe we should instigate the German beer keller tradition and start sitting on the knees of Barney?



Don’t stuff your face Marvin! It’s rude and a little unpleasant. Actually not really a thing, or at least I don’t think so, but it was obviously important enough for NZ Bus to warn us about. It does remind me of a trip I once took in Greece. But that involved fish and high humidity so let’s leave that for another day.



It’s a bit unfortunate that NZ Bus chose a female bear for this one. After all we’re all guilty of this particular bug bear. But why let a little bit of sexism get in the way of s good chuckle. 

OMG Jase! What are you playing at? Get you head off that poor guy’s lap! Again this is not something that I have experienced in Auckland so maybe it’s confined to the late night buses - I like to be tucked up by ten. There has been occasions when I’ve nodded off, especially after a few beers in the afternoon, but I’m pretty sure it will only have been a close friend that I drooled on. Or at least I think so....

Now this really bugs me. It’s not the noise that gets on my goat, not that you can have a goat in downtown Auckland, but instead it’s the hint of a song. As soon as I hear the faintest hint of a song I immediately try and figure out what it is, who recorded it and in what year. Mind you, even If it was played at normal volume I’d probably struggle these days. Speaking of volume, just how loud does music have to be before your ears start to bleed? Just asking. 

Yuk! Pete stinks! Actually, I have a confession to make. I may be Pete. You see on at least one occasion I have boarded a bus on the way back from a run, dripping in sweat and grateful for a lift home. I have tried to minimise the pong by sitting away from everyone else and not leaning back on the seat but I’m not sure this was enough. In fact I know this wasn’t enough. It’s generally been okay at the start, as the bus was empty, but I can only apologise for anyone getting on at later stops. Sorry. I’d like to say it won’t happen again but I rather fear that it might.

I still wonder why they stopped at Number 9. Surely that could be found at least one more. Ten is a much more acceptable number. So NZ Bus, if you looking for inspiration and a reason to bring back the campaign here’s a few from me;

No Hop Henry - why is it that some people refuse to embrace the cashless system for bus travel in Auckland? It’s not difficult. After a small and modest outlay for the card you save heaps every time you travel. And being a tourist is no excuse either. We have similar cards for other cities in Asia Pacific and it’s so much easier than holding up a bus full of people whilst you rummage around for the correct change. 

Single Door Sally - buses have two doors for a reason. You get on at the front and off at the rear door. Trying to get off through the front door whilst others board the bus is just plain stupid. And holds up the bus.

Lost Lionel - Here’s a tip for you Lionel. Bus drivers aren’t tour guides. Getting on the bus and asking directions is not a cool thing to do. New Zealand is a very friendly place so rather than annoy a bus load of people and distract someone who is trying to keep to a timetable just ask someone in the street. Chances are they will know exactly where you are looking for and may even offer to take you there. 

So there you have it, The Bug Bears. Out and not-so-proud. Right there me, I’m off to catch a bus to town. It’s a shame the bears won’t be there to keep me company on my short journey. Perhaps they will. In fact No Hop Henry is almost certain to make an appearance....