A Medical Emergency

Well I suppose it had to happen eventually. We have, after all, been here for over six months. I know. I can hardly believe it myself. Six months without incident. Six months without a slip, trip or fall. Twelve man months if you count the two of us. It's really quite miraculous if you think about it for long enough. But it couldn't last. And I suppose it was inevitable that it would be caused by running....

You see I've got one hell of a nappy rash in.... well .... in the general crotch area. Stop laughing. It's not a laughing matter. Not from where I'm stood. Or sat. Sitting is much better that standing at the moment. Sitting with legs akimbo. I did try standing that way this morning at the queue for the kettle, but people thought I was about to make a big announcement. Which I wasn't. Well certainly not without drinking my morning coffee first. And that wasn't going to happen with everyone looking at me rather than getting the drinks that they were queuing for. It was a Mexican standoff in the kitchen area. Anyway not to put too fine a point on it (no please don't) with the increased mileage, soaring humidity and the help of friction I've ....well ... you can guess the rest.

It was so bad that, after a colleague in work remarked on my unusual walking style, I had to take action. I rushed - which is no mean feat when you are trying to keep your legs as far apart as possible - to the chemist and bought the biggest tub of nappy rash cream I could find. I must've looked a sight - as if John Wayne had decided to take up amateur athletics; legs thrashing at acute angles whilst trying to negotiate the busy lunchtime traffic.

With rash cream in hand, as well as a pair of softer running underwear from the adjacent running apparel store, I couldn't wait to get back to work, enter the men's loo and administer a good dollop of cool relief. And it was fantastic. Thankfully there were no other visitors to hear my "Ooos", "Aaahhs" or hear the hiss of steam.

So let this tale act as a solitary lesson. If you're out running and friction gets the better of you - take my advice. You can't run it off. Quite the opposite. The longer or faster you run, the worse it gets. And, if left untreated, then be prepared to be the butt of jokes in the office. Well not exactly butt. You get the picture.