Wednesday, 2 March 2016

It Ain't Half Hot Mum

I know it will seem like a very British trait to write a blog about the weather, but after last night's meteorological shenanigans it's has to be done. And besides, you can take the boy out of Britain but you can't take the Britain out of the boy. 

In my defence, a quick flick back through the archives of this blog will reveal that I have only written two blogs that mention the weather. That is not a bad track record for a native of a nation that relishes conversation that analyses the minutiae of current and future climate. It is an unwritten rule that, after the usual greeting, the next question out of a British person's mouth has to be about the weather. It's compulsory and written into our DNA.

It's also an unwritten rule that you have to understate the current weather pattern. It may be ten below zero and your snot freezes before it hits the ground but a simple "It's a bit nippy today" would sum up the situation nicely thank you very much.

And oh, boy do we like to complain about the weather. Too wet, too dry, a bit hot, cold, windy, humid and miserable. We are the Goldilocks of amateur weather analysis. 

Perhaps predictably, that's where I come it. It has to be said that, on the whole, the weather in Auckland does not lend itself to complaints. Not really. It can get a bit cold during the winter months but not enough to make you want to bulk buy anti-freeze. It's not needed. It is, during the heat of the summer months, a bit warm. And yes, it can rain when it wants to. But mainly the weather is just-right. 

And everything was ticking along nicely until last night. It had been a warm but wet day - not untypical for a sub-tropical climate in the late summer - and a little humid perhaps but the expectations were that as the evening drew in the temperatures would drop to a not-unpleasant 18 degrees or so. 

Except it didn't happen. Nope, the temperatures were locked in for the night at around 24 degrees and humidity started to rise. With not a breeze to be had, we were in for a sticky night. Just as we all should have been dropping off to sleep, the temperatures were hovering around mid-twenties and the humidity had just passed 92%. Seemingly the whole of Auckland had been turned into a giant sauna.

Nothing was going to help us sleep. Even with all of the windows open, the hot air seemed to invade every space. I will spare you the grim details of my sleeping attire, but needless to say I couldn't have worn much less. 

I resorted to grabbing the cushion covers from the our door loungers and sleeping as close to the open living room doors as I could. Yes I was risking becoming a midnight snack for the local mosquitos but I was getting desperate. I did contemplate, albeit briefly, getting the ice blocks from the freezer but common sense and a duty of hygiene intervened. I would just have to lie still, think about cold things and hope that exhaustion would overcome the insufferable heat. Eventually it did, or at least it must have, because I woke up again around 3am having become a tasty second course for Auckland's 1st flying squadron.




It was a long night and not one that I am keen to repeat. 

At least I wasn't the only one. Those without air conditioning, and that would be the majority of Auckland, had suffered the same ordeal. It made for an entertaining and occasionally dangerous day in work. Lack of sleep was making even the most mild mannered of people edgy, bad tempered and unpredictable. It was either that or the copious amount of coffee that everyone was drinking to try and get through the day.


And true to form, when a colleague stated that it was unbearably hot in their house last night, I simply shrugged and admitted that it "was a little warm last night," before adding, "but not too bad though"

No comments:

Post a Comment