It all started so innocently. I was asked to attend a video conference meeting with some colleagues to discuss progress on site and to take a look at the programme for the coming weeks. Fairly mundane and run of the mill stuff. With over three years of NZ work experience under my belt I’ve finally stopped referring to pounds, no longer called intersections junctions and a verge is finally a berm. In fact, so sure was I of my perfect colloquialisms that I’ve even started raising a wry smile when new European arrivals made exactly the same mistakes that I had not too long ago. Oh how we forget. And how easily we can fall off our high horse, partner!
Anyway, the conversation was progressing nicely when suddenly the person at the other end of the call stated “We’ve found a tomo so part of the site is a no-go area!”
“Wow, a tomo!” I exclaimed a little to enthusiastically, not having a clue what or indeed who a tomo was.
“Yeah, we found it whilst we were walking over the site. Lucky we didn’t stand right on it really!”, came the response.
I looked around at my colleagues in the room for any clue as to what is was that we were talking about, but all I could see was a row of confirmatory nods that this was indeed a precarious situation. In short, no bloody help at all and I was going to have to figure this one out for myself.
“So,” I started cautiously, “what’s your plan of action then for dealing with it?”
Brilliant! A good question and one that was designed to not disclose my level of ignorance.
“Well, we’ve already put a fence around the area so it’s contained but obviously we need to get an expert in to deal with it”.
“Obviously”, I agreed without knowing what it was that I was agreeing to.
So we were surely dealing with an animal of some kind. Definitely not a bird - a fence would’ve been useless against a flying animal.....oh but wait, it could be a flightless bird. I started to rack my brain to see if a flightless bird called a Tomo had ever been mentioned but nothing was registering. Surely I would’ve heard about such a creature? I decided that I hadn’t and therefore it couldn’t be that. Right, an animal of some kind it must be. And clearly a dangerous one given the level of concern that was being shown both in the room and on the screen.
Time for another carefully worded question.....
“Great. What do you think their assessment will be?”
“Well, ideally we’d like to get rid of it but it depends how big it is really.”
“F*ck, this thing must be huge”, I thought to myself.
The thought of animal slaughter on the project, however, was just too much to bear. I could see the headlines writing themselves in from of my eyes. The last thing we needed was a load of environmentalists crawling over the site. And who would blame them? You can’t just go around exterminating creatures because they happen to wander into your project site. Especially not in New Zealand. Unless they’re possums of course. I needed more information.....
“Just how do you propose to get rid of it?”
That was clearly a question too far as the assembled group, real and virtual, looked at me with incredulity.
“Oh, probably with an excavator, that’s what we normally do with Tomos”, came the response from the TV screen adding, “or just drop a load of rock on it if its not too big.”
This was too much.
“Wait! How do you know that dropping rock on it is going to sort it out. What if it survives?”, I exclaimed, not sure if I was more concerned about the negative publicity or the inhumane method of disposal.
“Survives? How else are we going to fill the hole?”, a colleague enquired no doubt half wondering if I’d lost my mind before quickly adding, “Or we could just excavate to find the bottom but it will depend upon how deep and wide the Tomo is.”
Thankfully the conversation moved on to the engineering solution whilst I surreptitiously consulted Wikipedia. And in doing so, I soon realised my mistake. How could I have been so stupid.... don’t answer that! So, to prevent you from landing in a similar situation, and before we go any further, you need to know what a Tomo is. Admittedly the chances are slim but you never know in this world. So a Tomo is a hole in the ground that either once, or still does have, water passing through it and usually found in limestone regions. Or if you prefer, a sinkhole and definitely not an animal or flightless bird.
For those that would like a longer explanation, and I’m thinking mainly the engineers out there, here is an extract from the Wikipedia entry;
The word ‘Waitomo’ comes from the Māori language ‘wai’ meaning water and ‘tomo’ meaning a doline or sinkhole. In short, this can translated to be water passing through a hole.
And the moral of the story? Well if this story must have one then I guess its that don’t be afraid to ask questions, no matter how stupid they may seem. Or to put it another way, you’re going to look like an idiot no matter what you do so you might as well get it over with!
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