Lolly Scramble

It's come to my attention, that after nearly seven years of writing a blog about life in New Zealand, I appear to have overlooked one crucial aspect. Lollies. Or, if you're not from around these parts, sweets. Putting aside the fact that sweets are called lollies and don't have sticks - well actually some do but I guess they're just called lollies with sticks - there are some amazing confectionery treasures that are quintessentially New Zealand. 

At the risk of walking on the thinnest of thin ice, and upsetting my Kiwi friends and colleagues, here's my top Kiwi lollies. 

Pineapple Lumps

Folklore says that in the beginning, back when The Creator was giving out stuff, the Middle East got oil and South Africa got diamonds, whilst New Zealand had to make do with Pineapple Lumps. And there isn't anyone in New Zealand who doesn't think that deal was unfair. At least according to the TV advert.

On paper they sound horrendous; a chewy pineapple marshmallowy type centre coated in chocolate, but in the mouth they are nectar from the Gods. If there was such a thing as pineapple flavoured nectar that is. Be warned though, these things are addictive and one leads to two and before you know it the whole packet has disappeared. 

Jet Planes

The original Jet Planes are the best, by a large margin, but these lollies are so ubiquitous that almost every sweet manufacturer worth their salt...err sugar... makes their own version. The copy-cat version, or Fake Planes as they have become known in our household, can usually be picked in clear plastic bags in the local dairy. Or corner shop. Quite how a wine gum like sweet in the shape of a jet plane became a New Zealand classic is a mystery. Probably best not to delve to deeply and just enjoy the chewy fruitiness. 

Minties

It is tempting to dismiss these as sweets but that would be harsh. Yes they are mint flavoured, and international standards dictate that mint-flavoured things should not be classed as confectionary, but they hold a special place in our household. To be clear, not for their contents but for their wrappers. The contents are just white-coloured mint flavoured toffee. Nothing to write home about, but the wrappers now they are something special. 

Each sweet is enclosed within a cartoon adorned wrapper, depicting a scene where a mishap has occurred with the phrase "It's moments like these you need Minties". Almost worth eating a mint-flavoured sweet for.

Jaffas

I'm not sure whether these should be classed as a sweet or a weapon. The problem is that these little round balls look so innocent that it can come as quite a shock when you pop one in your mouth. In essence, these are sugar coated chocolate balls - so sound quite delightful - but somehow the candy coating has been made to military strength. These little bastards are rock hard and could easily be used as replacement ball bearings in machinery. Probably would last longer too. If you do manage to bite into one without shattering your teeth then the orange flavoured chocolate is pleasant. Enjoy, but make sure you have a dentist on speed dial just in case

Chocolate Fish

Is there anybody in the world who doesn’t enjoy a chocolate fish? The creaminess of the chocolate  and the colour of the marshmallow may differ with brands but the iconicity stays the same. The pink mini ones most often found in dairies are dangerous in that you could probably eat a dozen before wondering if maybe you should stop. Chocolate fish are probably the only sweets on this list that you could put on a fancy dessert platter and get away with it. Oh and they're not fish flavoured either in case you were wondering. You weren't? Oh good.

Whitakers Berry and Biscuit

I know it's risky putting a chocolate bar in a list of sweets, especially when it's posh chocolate. So before you start to type an angry response to this crime, just remember this. It's my blog and I make the rules. Besides, since Cadbury's was bought out by a multi-national and closed the factory in Dunedin, it's hard to recommend Cadbury as a New Zealand sweet. Cadbury chocolates were first made in New Zealand in 1930 when the British company linked up with Dunedin confectioner Richard Hudson and his Castle St Factory. But now? Well if you buy a Cadbury's chocolate in New Zealand there's a good chance that it will have been made in Tasmania. I know, mad isn't it.

When we first came to New Zealand, Whitakers were producing a kiwi fruit chocolate - little bits of kiwi fruit flavoured gum covered in chocolate. I couldn't get enough of it. But inexplicably, soon after it disappeared from shelves. I can’t have possibly munched my way through the entire nation’s stock. Could I? Anyway it would've made this list but is now extinct so instead I'm putting the Whitakers Berry and Biscuit on my list. Bits of berry flavoured gum and crunchy biscuit coated in Whitakers super smooth, velvety chocolate. Mmmmm.

RJ's Raspberry Choc Twists

Whoever came up with the idea of filling a raspberry liquorice stick with chocolate deserves a Nobel Prize for Confectionary. Thinking outside the box - or wrapper in this case - has never produced such stunning results. Almost an inside out Jaffa (see above) but with less risk to your dental work. Bite into the chewy liquorice and almost be immediately met with -solid chocolate centre. A kiwi classic and made in the local factory in Levin.

So there you have it. My favourite kiwi lollies/sweets/chocolate/weapons. Take your pick. Yes I know I’ve overlooked sour cola bottles, Y2K bugs and a whole host of others. I’ll leave these for another blog. In the meantime I’ve got a list of biscuits to compile….