Saturday, 18 June 2022

All You'll Ever Need

The first few days after we arrived into New Zealand for the start of our little adventure - not so little now I suppose - were something of a whirlwind. 

We arrived on a late Friday evening in winter, it was dark but not that cold, not to us at the time anyway. Some work colleagues had kindly offered to put us up for the weekend whilst we found our feet and pretty soon it was Monday. And being keen to start our New Zealand careers, we went off to the office. It was probably a bit ambitious and maybe the sensible thing to do would have been to take a week off and get to know our new home a little bit better. There was quite a bit of debate about this, with one half of the partnership preferring to take the time off and explore and the other half keen to make a start. For the sake of a harmonious relationship, I won’t divulge which I favoured. Jet-lag and a new job. Smashing.

Anyway, we had a lot to sort out that day. Not only did we have to turn up and look remotely useful, coherent even, we also had to move into our temporary premises and get our bank accounts sorted. It was going to be tight. We had to check in before 6pm and get to the bank before it closed - it hadn't occurred to us that we could've taken long lunch break and done at least one of those tasks with a little more time on our side. So we left work at 5pm and charged into the city to get things resolved. 

We quickly checked in to our new apartment - at least we would have somewhere to sleep that night - and then dashed back across the city centre to the bank. It didn't help that I managed to get us lost on the way to the branch - in my defence this was a new city and I was still suffering from jet lag and had just completed my first day in a new job. So there was that. Also, I had the map upside down, the outcome of which was that we’d been heading in the wrong direction for about ten minutes. Oops!

The clock was definitely ticking down. We retraced our steps, corrected our directions and turned up at the bank with about 15 minutes to spare. So far not too disastrous.

We were directed to a booth at the back of the branch. For those used to the UK way of doing things, New Zealand banks are a bit odd. Rather than be faced with a secured counter, it's more like walking into a department store. Scattered around the foyer are customer service desks - little round circular desks which you approach and tell the customer service advisor why you are visiting. Not like a bank at all. Anyway, we let the person know that we were here to formally open our accounts and have the funds that we transferred over a few weeks ago - all of our savings - released. 

"No problem sir, please take a seat at the booth over there and your account manager will be with you shortly"

We sat down and within minutes our account manager sat down at the table alongside us.

"Thanks for coming in today, we'll soon get things sorted and you can be on your way", she noted.

After handing over some ID and giving a few signatures everything was just about sorted. 

"Right here are your cards, ", she said handing over our cards.

"Errm, excuse me", my partner noted, "why is my card a different colour to his?" pointing to her card that was clearly a different type to the one I had been given.

"Don't worry madam, that card will give you everything you need", the account manager reassured with a smile.

Oh shit, I thought.

"Really?", my partner noted, "but why is my card different".

Seemed like a fair question.

"It's okay", the account manager soldiered on, "it's all you will need." At this point she may have even reached out and gently but condescendingly patted the back of my partner’s hand. I can’t be sure - it may have been the affects of jet-lag.

"Please answer my question. What is different about my card?"

"Well, it's really just the same except you can't use it for online purchases", the account manager explained before adding ".....well not without his approval."

Crikey dick, as they say around here, this account manager was either no reading the signs or had a death wish. An awkward silence descended. I’d learned a long time ago that in these situations it was best to keep quiet and not try and pacify the situation. 

Silence

"Well I suggest you take a look at our account balance and the combined total of the two salaries that will be coming in on a regular basis and tell me if you think I am not entitled to exactly the same level of rights."

Silence. A few key taps. More silence

"Well yes madam. But it is quite normal practice for the partner to get......"

The account manager didn't get to finish that sentence. Which is probably for the best.

"How long does it take to issue cards?" my partner calmly asked.

"Usually a couple of days but......"

"Okay, well here's what's going to happened. You are going to arrange for an equivalent card to be delivered to my workplace by Wednesday or we will be moving our accounts to another bank"

"Well I will ask if......."

"I'm not debating this with you. Are we clear?"

"Yes madam."

And with that we picked ourselves up and made our way back to the apartment to start our New Zealand adventure. Not a great start, but at least the card wasn't pink I thought. 

In many ways New Zealand is a progressive and forward thinking society - they were the first country to give women the vote for example. But in many other ways it is stuck in the past. Sometime around 1955 is my best guess. 




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