So what is it I need to get off my chest? Well it’s kiwi delicacies. I know, how dare I. Well buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride…..
Cheese Rolls
Up first is this simple snack, and it’s not what you think. Or rather, if it is what you think and you’re not from New Zealand, then you are one strange individual. For those raised in the northern hemisphere, a cheese roll is either a cheese sandwich, but in a bun format, or is a sausage roll type of affair but with a savoury cheese filling. Sort of a nod to all those vegetarians out there.
In Aotearoa it is somewhat different and it consists of a homemade cheese sauce using evaporated milk, onion soup power (more on this later) and of course cheese, which is then spread on white sliced bread, rolled up and then baked in the oven. The ultimate comfort food. Or so the recipe below would have you believe. I have tried these on many occasions and the quality is somewhat varied. At their best, they are a crisp-on-the-outside-cheesy-in-the-middle treat. At their worst, a soggy and bland mess. The South Island claims to have the best cheese rolls. But then they claim a lot of things that aren’t necessarily true!
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| One of the better 'crunchy' examples |
Asparagus Rolls
Staying with the rolled up sliced bread format, next are Asparagus Rolls. Quite how these came into being is a mystery. Whoever thought that what is essentially a cold asparagus sarnie was a good idea? I know the shape of asparagus lends itself to putting in a slice of rolled up white bread, but so do a lot of other things. Honestly, what were they thinking? I have tried these, but they are as tasty as they sound. Even if fresh asparagus is used, they are still to be avoided. And if some terror has used tinned asparagus…..run away…..quickly. Not convinced I’m right. Well, try them for yourself;
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| Honestly! |
Ambrosia
For us Brits, Ambrosia only means one thing….tinned rice pudding. Not as nasty as the scourge of the school kitchen dinner, tapioca, rice pudding holds a special place in the hearts and stomach of British school children. It’s actually a very quick and versatile pudding. Stir in chocolate, banana or get fancy with soft fruits. Me and my mates would spice it up on camping trips by adding cinnamon powder and raisins. Little did we know that we were well ahead of the curve with our imaginative concoction - the offical makers Ambrosia would eventually market their own version of spiced up rice pud. Did we see any royalties? Anyway, I have digressed.
In Kiwi terms, Ambrosia is not a rice based pudding but is in fact a mixture of yoghurt, fruit and marshmallows. Yum! Now this is the kind of recipe that I can get on board with. Speaking of being on board, the first time I had this treat was only a few months ago on board a boat in Doubtful Sound. Quite how I’ve managed to avoid this sweet treat all these years is a mystery.
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| What's not to like. It also comes in an ice flavour |
Pavlova
“Whatever you do, don’t mention the war.” Or Pavlova. I’m sure this dessert doesn’t need any introduction - a mixture of baked meringue, cream, and fruit - but did you know that its origin is hotly contested? Both Australia and New Zealand lay claim to have invented this dessert in honour of the Russian balerina Anna Pavlova during her performances in 1920. And the argument still rages on to this day. It’s a touchy subject all right so maybe that’s why pavlova is reserved for special occasions such as Christmas Day?
Sausage Rolls
A colleague once tried to convince me that sausage rolls were a kiwi invention. I wasn’t having a bar of it. Not that I was certain they weren’t, but they have been such a staple in British snack cuisine that they have to be a British invention. I suppose I could look it up but I’d be really disappointed if I was found to be wrong.
That said, the kiwis have taken sausage rolls to another level. Think of a humble British sausage roll and super-size it so it’s a meal for two. Kiwi sausage rolls are huge with a meatier filling.
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| Although it's hard to tell from this photo, but these are about the size of a small family car |
Pies
Hot in the heels of sausage rolls are pies. Whilst certainly not a kiwi creation, they have, dare I say it, perfected the art of the savoury filled pastry treat.. Going beyond the confines of traditional fillings, pies in New Zealand are a gourmet classic. Like steak? Like cheese? Then how about a steak and cheese pie? Exactly! Many places claim to have the best, but in all honesty, they’re all great; whether bought from a local bakery or a specialist shop.
Kiwi Dip
Okay so this is going to be controversial, but I hate Kiwi Dip. Honestly I’ve tried to like it, I really have, but I just can’t see the attraction. I can see how it came into being - with pre-made dips being in short supply in New Zealand in the 1950s it’s quite ingenuous of kiwi households to come up with their own recipe. But in 2024, supermarkets sell dozens of different dips so is Kiwi Dip still needed? Just sayin’.
For the uninitiated, it is a mixture of dried onion soup powder (there it is again) and reduced cream, sometimes with other additions such as lemon juice or parsley. Families have their own recipes that are handed down from generation to generation and each claim to have perfected the recipe. That maybe the case, but they’re all horrible. The best way to describe the taste is…..well…. reduced cream with onion soup power mixed in. It’s not like those two ingredients when mixed together could result in some sort of amazing culinary chemical reaction. Kiwi dip? Yeah nah! Sorry…I’ll get my coat…..
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| It's not just me is it? |
So there you have it. I’m sure there are some favourites I’ve missed. For example, I know I haven’t covered fish & chips, Lamingtons, Anzac biscuits or scorched almonds but I had to stop somewhere. I could’ve branched out to pineapple lumps (delicious), chocolate fish (squishy and sweet) or Jaffas (teeth breakers).
So if you want to create the taste of New Zealand, and who could blame you, have a go at some of these. Let me know what you think. And remember, no matter what, I’m still right about kiwi dip!
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