The Next Door-nob

What is it about people with money that makes them think that they can tell other people what to do, gives them the right to express an opinion or interfere in business other then their own?

Strewth, that was a strong opening sentence but worth every word but I feel that I ought to explain what has irked me so much. After all, a bit of context goes a long way.....

It is fair to say that after nearly three years in 'our' house we will have paid a fair amount of rent. In fact, so much that I'd rather not dwell on it thank you very much. Even so, we consider it to be a reasonable amount based on the size of the property, its relative proximity to the city centre, its closeness to our workplace (is a seven minute walk close enough for ya?) and the access to local amenities. Yes, it is a bit cold in winter but overall the price is fair. Add to fact that we haven't yet had a rent rise into the calculation and it's all good.  

And yes, we'll be the first to admit that, whilst the inside of the house is immaculate, the exterior could do with a little TLC. But not enough that we want to raise it as an issue with our landlady. We are quite happy just as we are, tucked away in a nice quiet street in a bustling city suburb minding our own business and getting on with getting on.

Unfortunately not everyone shares this view - we know of at least one person that thinks our little house is letting the side down, or both sides if you believe what he had to say, so-to-speak. To imagine this next scene - and to get the most accurate portrayal I recommend you adopt a plummy British accent in your head whilst you read this out. What kind? You know the sort of accent that really gets your hackles up whenever you're within earshot. Give it a go, I promise it'll be worth it.....

It was a fine but cold winter's early evening and we were just putting the bins back into their resting place when our neighbour came bounding up to us with the enthusiasm of an over-excited Cocker Spaniel...

"Well hello there dear boy, how are things going?"

That in itself isn't a particularly worrying opening line, with perhaps the exception that he was only a smidge off greeting us with a 'pip-pip'. Sorry, I've digressed...

"One must say that your house is looking a little bit shabby these days, don't you think?"

"Err, we've never really thought about it really', we responded in a not-really-totally-truthful kind of way.

"I must say that it's really unfair. You must be paying an absolute fortune in rent and it doesn't seem right that your landlord is getting away scott free," he continued apparently unaware that we really weren't interested.

"Well, it's really not a problem...," we tried to interject and stop the conversation in its tracks but it was no use - our neighbour was in full flow and really didn't want to know.

"I mean, look at the place. It clearly needs some work and if not addressed soon it will start to damage the fabric of the building."

Must say I was touched, and a little surprised, that our neighbour should have our interested quite so close to his heart, as well as the well-being of the buildings in our quite street. Ah...I spoke too soon;

"It really is letting the whole street down and is a disgrace," he continued.

That's more like it. Concern for our financial well-being and the preservation of the property was the last thing on his mind. It suddenly became all too clear - it wasn't us he was concerned about but him others' impression of the street, and by association, their impression of him for living next to a house that needs nothing more than a good lick of paint. How very British. What would the neighbours think? At least now, having got this off his chest, he might shut up and let us get on with what was left of our day. Alas no.....

"I have written to your landlord twice so far to complain about it but so far I not heard a peep. How very rude!"

I was dumbstruck. How do you respond to that? Well in the only way my British upbringing would all. I smiled politely and made my excuses. It was only an hour or so later that I realised that my response should have been "How very rude? I'm not surprised they haven't replied you arrogant, self-obsessed tosser." How often is it that one just can't find the words in the heat of the moment and its only sometime later that a witty response reveals itself.....

Since the encountered, I have been forced to look at our home with a more critical eye..... and my opinion hasn't changed. Pristine paintwork, brass adornments and manicured hedges do not a home make. Not at all. Its who lives there, how they treat one another and their approach to life that matters. That said, I do wish that the bedroom windows didn't rattle so much in the wind but hey, that's what beer mats were invented for wasn't it?