Anywhere but here

Okay so it’s about time I just face facts and admit it…..Easter in New Zealand sucks.

I know I will have mentioned this before, but to recap, it just doesn’t work. In the northern hemisphere Easter is a spring celebration, enjoying the rebirth of nature, flowers blooming and days getting longer. Here it is the exact opposite; nights drawing in, arrival of autumn and summer plants receding. The only saving grace is that it isn’t cold. Not yet. At least not up in Auckland anyhow. But why celebrate darkness and the coming of winter? 

I can get on board with a summer Christmas - it’s odd enough to be enjoyable. And besides, the sun helps get over the fact that it’s nearly thirty degrees out and people are dressed in Santa costumes. Heck, I even don’t mind Halloween being in spring even if it does kind of take the edge of the spook-fest by being sunny and bright. Nah Easter sucks.

But it’s not just being in the wrong season that makes it a tough sell with me. It’s everything else.

Our first Easter in New Zealand didn’t go as planned. We decided to take advantage of the long weekend and flew down to Christchurch. Maybe we could’ve chosen another destination but I don’t think it would have made much difference. The simple matter is that we just weren’t prepared. How we were supposed to know that everything shuts on Good Friday and Easter Sunday? Want a beer or wine to celebrate the long weekend? Well you can have one glass of wine or beer with a meal but that’s it. If you fancy going on a bit of a bender, then buckle up. Or rather don’t buckle up, because you’re going to need to have the stomach for it. Just think about it. For every drink you have to buy a full priced meal. And it’s firmly enforced for fear of severe penalties for any establishment caught flouting the law. We know from experience - trying to convince a sceptical bar tender that you always only eat crisps for your evening meal isn’t going to work.

The final straw that first year was hiking miles across town to a bar that we thought might be far enough away to allow us to buy a beer without the need for a three course meal. It was so far out of town it was literally the wrong side of the tracks. Nope. Nothing doing so we admitted defeat and headed back to the hotel. We had a very dry and uneventful weekend in Christchurch I can tell you, to the point where it prejudiced our view of the city for years to come. 

If the lack of beverage options wasn’t enough, then tendency for one of us to get ill during the four day break puts the tin hat on it.

Last year it was Covid which struck us down on the Saturday of the Easter weekend. This year it was the turn of another less famous but equally effective virus. We both felt like we’ve been hit by a truck. The only silver lining is that as everything was shut, there was nothing worth being well enough for anyway. Oh and we had to cancel our plans to go camping. So not all bad. My goodness, the thought of being unwell under canvas….reminds me of one year in Coniston where I spent the night sleeping in a ditch because it was closer to the toilet block. Urrgghh!

Some say illness is brought on by the change in the seasons but I’m not sure that’s it. Some say that because it’s the first break since Christmas, as soon as your body senses a slowing of pace it shuts down for some rest as well. Maybe that’s it.

So what are the options then? Don’t take a break and work the whole way through? That’s unthinkable. Maybe we should’ve learnt our lesson from the first year and not travelled? Nah sod that. The only option for next year is to be anywhere but here…..