Don’t Be A Dick

As far as life rules go, “Don’t Be a Dick” must rank up there with the best. Even if your personal code is more towards guidelines than rules it still takes some beating. 

After all, I wouldn’t want to get to the end of my life and suddenly find myself barred from entry to the afterlife on the account of my high dick-ness rating. If you catch my drift. It’s just not worth the risk. That said, on the evidence of recent events, there’ll be a few more stopped from passing through the pearly gates. 

Last Friday, after 103 days of lockdown, Auckland stepped into the light. Or to be more accurate the traffic light. (See what I did there! Genius). Anyway, Auckland is now operating under the red setting of the newly introduced traffic light system. It might be the harshest setting of the three but at least it does mean that things can get back to normal. Or as close to normal in the pandemic world. Before I move on I must raise an objection to the traffic light system. Yes I must. I’m not going to hold back. The last time I checked, and I feel that I am somewhat of a expert on this matter, the middle colour in a traffic light system was amber. Not orange. It’s pretty universal. Red. Amber. Green. RAG. I’d go as far to say that it’s never been orange. Quite why the government has chosen to call the middle setting in the new system orange is beyond me. It’s sheer lunacy. Like the time Walkers meddled with their packaging for crisps and swapped the colour for salt & vinegar with that for cheese & onion. I’m just getting over it and even now at the thought of it I have to go and have a lie down.

I’ve digressed. So we’re back to normal. Well it as normal as normal can be for those who are double vaccinated. With introduction of the traffic light system also came the use of vaccine passports. And what a controversial issue they are proving to be, at least they seem to be if you see the amount of column inches they’re getting. Places that were inaccessible to all are now open to holders of vaccine passports, albeit with some restrictions on numbers. Without a vaccine passport? No dice. 

As far as I can tell, and this is purely based on my ‘limited’ personal experience of going to the pub, it all seems to be working well. But that doesn’t sell papers. So a vocal minority are complaining loudly about human rights, discrimination a two-tier New Zealand and comparing the PM to Hitler. Bearing in mind that nearly 90% of the eligible population are now fully vaccinated it really is a minority. Say what you like about the Nazis, but they weren’t really known for causing mild inconvenience. 

To make sure we didn’t miss out on Friday when the pub re-opened we booked ahead and we’re greeted with this rather warm welcome. 

It was good to be back. And judging by the crowd, we were all glad to be out, enjoying the afternoon sunshine and having a cool beer or two. Don’t think much work got done in Auckland last Friday. Obviously I feel the need, purely in the interests of research you understand, to increase my experience of the new system by visiting the local hostelry as frequently as possible.

I think the traffic light system is going to be with us for a little while yet. But for most it’s working well. Just enjoy the freedom of being out, enjoy the start of summer and being able to socialise gain. Oh, and of course Don’t Be A Dick!

The (Traffic) Light at the End of the Tunnel

 A colleague said to me yesterday, over a virtual meeting obviously, "What are we going to talk about when Covid is over?" She had a point. What were we going to talk about? Or conversely, what did we used to talk about? It's a mystery that I'm sure will resolve itself when the time comes.

Speaking of time coming, Auckland will soon be on the move again. And by move I mean stop. Well it would be if that's what a red traffic light meant. But it doesn't, not in this case. What? Let me explain....

The Government said a while ago that as soon as the three Auckland health board areas hit 90% fully vaccinated, which in our world means two injections of the vaccine, then the restrictions that have been in place for nearly 14 weeks would be lifted. And everything returns to normal then? Not quite. 

Under the traffic light system, which will be launched nationwide next month and under which Auckland will operate a few weeks earlier, life can return to a new normal with some caveats. But aren't they still restrictions? Well yes, but relatively minor. For example, bars and large entertainment venues will be open (yey!) but under a red traffic light system, numbers indoors will be limited and vaccine passports will be required to enter the premises. Fair enough I say. 

There are a vocal minority - and by minority these are tiny percentage of the country - are opposed to the whole thing and think that we should all be allowed to do whatever we please. Needless to say, they're not vaccinated and don't think that the government should be permitted to insist on such a thing. Which they're not. But that's beside the point to them. This vocal and angry mob are in effect a collection of anti-vaxers, far-right foghorns, fascists, QAnon conspiracy theorists and for some reason anti-water reform lunatics. Quite how you could hang out with a group that openly believe that Jacinda Ardern has kidnapped 250 babies and is keeping them in the basement of the government building in Wellignton is beyond me. Anyway I've digressed. 

So with Auckland a smidge under 90% fully vaccinated, and the rest of the country not far behind, it is finally time to ditch the elimination strategy and move towards returning to normal life, albeit under the aforementioned traffic light control system. Most importantly, there will be more freedoms for vaccinated Aucklanders who have been in lockdown for more than three months, but greater restrictions for those who are not vaccinated.

At red, masks are mandatory on flights, public transport, in taxis, retail, public venues and recommended when leaving the house. Record keeping and scanning are required. Public facilities can open with up to 100 people, retail is open - with 1m distancing, schools and early childhood are open, with public health measures, and some outdoor community events are allowed, with limits on numbers. Gyms, hospitality, churches, marae can open if using vaccination certificates to up to 100 people, based on 1m distancing. Same applies to weddings, civil union ceremonies, funerals and tangihanga and other indoor and outdoor events. Gatherings are limited to 10 people and hospitality must remain contactless only if vaccine certificates aren't used. Some places, such as close contact businesses, including hairdressers, and gyms cannot operate without vaccine certificates.

Although there was a little bit of congestion on the web-site at first, we all can now download our vaccine certificates - it's a quick process and takes a couple of minutes for you to request it and for it to be emailed to you. From there you can either print or keep on your phone to present at venues.

Then, on the 15 December, the Auckland border becomes crossable. Freedom? Well something like it. But with great freedom comes great responsibility. I, like many others, have been looking forward to reconnecting with the rest of New Zealand so it's tempting to see that day as the date we can all go forth and enjoy the rest of the country. Before booking that road trip however, pause for thought. Is it really necessary to stop at dozens of places on route? Just think about the communities into which you are traveling. What is their vaccination rate like? How close is their nearest hospital should Covid come visiting? It's easy to forget that although Aucklanders have been living with Covid in the community for months, this will still feel very new to many others. And no doubt that will make them fearful. And fear leads to anger and anger leads to.....well you can guess the rest. Obviously it goes without saying that Aucklanders are usually greeted with open arms but please don't spoil the warm welcome by acting irresponsibly.

For the sake of transparency, we have booked a pre-Christmas camping trip, as has become the recent tradition, but will be taking care on the way. Thankfully the camping ground is only accepting double-vaccinated people and they must have their vaccination certificates. But I'm getting ahead of myself. That's four weeks away so in the meantime there will soon be the opportunity to enjoy life returning to normal-ish within Auckland.

I can almost guarantee that the first time I use my vaccine certificate will be to buy a pint in our local. No I'm not obsessed. But I have been looking forward to that moment for nearly four months! 

Star Jasmine

I think this is my favourite time of year in Auckland, or at least it is when it stops raining. Days are getting longer, mornings are light and temperatures are pleasant. Almost to the point where I can sit out and enjoy my morning cuppa.

It’s the time of year when daytime temperatures are in the sweet spot. Not too hot like you feel your skin is cooking, or with a humidity that means you sweat just standing still. Instead,  there’s a gentle warmth that comforts and energises. You really do feel like you could achieve anything when it’s like this. Except we can’t - but I won’t go there today.

It’s also the time of year when Star Jasmine starts to appear….and be smelt. It’s such an amazing plant. Quite how it manages to be so fragrant from such a distance is beyond my comprehension. It’s so aromatic that more often than not, you smell the plant long before you see it. It starts with a slight whiff in the air which then gets slowly stronger. You know then that there must be Star Jasmine around here somewhere…..

Auckland’s gardens and parks are starting to fill up with this little plant, their small white flowers hiding their power to fill the air with amazing scent.

But I suppose above all, the appearance of these plants can only mean one thing…..Summer is on the way!

Vaxathon and the Race Against Time

Well what a difference a month makes. Things are certainly heating up in New Zealand - and I'm not just talking about the weather. What's happened? Good question. Well it all started with a Vaxathon....

You could be forgiven for not knowing what a Vaxathon is. In fairness, it wasn't clear to me when it was first suggested. The nearest thing I can compare it to is that it's sort of like a Red Nose Day, but with needles. 

With the arrival of the Delta strain in New Zealand it was only a matter of time before we had to change the game plan. We had done incredibly well keeping the virus at bay over the preceding 18 months but Delta was here and was going nowhere....except it was. It wriggled through the Auckland defences and was out and about. Quite why it would want to leave the Super City was a mystery but it was becoming increasingly harder to contain the outbreak. 

So there was a shift in focus. Out went the successful but time limited elimination strategy, and in came the longer-term strategy. One that relied on a traffic light system and more on public vigilance rather than government interventions. Lock-downs would still be in the toolkit but only used as a last resort. Above all, individual freedom would be restored but that came with a risk attached. But I'm getting ahead of myself. For this new approach to work, New Zealand would have to get vaccinated. Jab up or job off.

Because of its limited buying power and success at keeping the virus out of the country, New Zealand was somewhat down the list of countries when the vaccines started to roll off the pharmaceutical conveyor belt. Actually I've got no idea how vaccines are made. Pretty sure rolling isn't involved but a conveyor belt might be. It's not really important. Anyway, New Zealand's vaccine roll-out had started but nowhere near quickly enough. So a plan was hatched to hold a national day of vaccinations or, if you prefer, a Vaxathon!!

Who exactly was the first to suggest the idea is open to debate, but the intention was that on Saturday 16 October, as many vaccines as possible would be administered across Aotearoa. Or to put it another way, everyone was asked to roll up their sleeves and get vaccinated. 

The comparison with Red Nose Day is not a bad one. Celebrities turned up in person, or video-linked to the studio, to offer support and encourage everyone to get down to their nearest vaccination centre. Prizes were given out, food cooked - who doesn't like a sausage sizzle - and the whole day had a general party atmosphere. It was a big endeavour and a political gamble. What would it mean if it was a failure? Was it game over? A target of 100,000 vaccinations had been sent. Was that too ambitious? The previous daily record was 80,000 so quite an increase. That was a lot.

We needn't have worried - the target was reached by lunchtime and went on to exceed 130,000. A huge success then. But we still needed to get more needles into more arms. Now what?

We needed a target, and a little bit of healthy rivalry that's what.

A few days later, it might be more but I've lost track of time a little bit these last few weeks, the government announced that we needed to get the whole country up to 90% of double vaccinated people and the we could start to open up. If Auckland got there first, then the restrictions in Auckland would be loosened. If there's one thing New Zealand loves more than a sausage sizzle, it's competition. Game on!

There wouldn't be a 'Freedom Day', that was far too risky and could have disastrous consequences for the health of the country, but instead a target. A government that follows science rather than a populist agenda?  

So the focus has now shifted to graphs of vaccine rates across Aotearoa. Of the 20 District Health Board areas (DHBs) in New Zealand, the three that cover Auckland are tantalisingly close, but others are a little further off. But it can be done. At the current rate, Auckland should get there at the end of November and the rest of the country should get there before Christmas - just in time to enjoy the long  kiwi summer. Wouldn't that be a great Christmas present!

The Week the Wheels Came Off (Part 1)

It all started with a question about toilet facilities. An seemingly innocuous question but with far reaching consequences.

COVID-19 daily case numbers in New Zealand - and with that read Auckland - had been bubbling around the mid-twenties for about a week. Not exactly stratospheric but not the downward trend that we were hoping for….or from our previous experience with the battle against the virus were expecting.

It was Monday afternoon and Jacinda Ardern, the prime minister and Ashley Broomfield , the director general of health, were due to make their regular appearance at the 4pm press conference to update the nation on the latest outbreak. And, as promised a week earlier, they would announce cabinet's decision on whether to change the level of restrictions in Auckland. Business as usual then.

It’s always reassuring to watch the dynamic duo in action. Hhhmmm, maybe a super hero analogy is taking it a bit too far - okay how about a sporting comparison? A striking partnership in football maybe? Except I can’t think of one. That says more about me being a Boro fan than it does my football knowledge. Lineker and Beardsley perhaps? Anyway back to the story.

It’s fair to say that the country had already decided that with case numbers refusing to budge, there was no way that restrictions in Auckland would be changed - despite the entire city secretly looking forward to the day things returned to something like normal. Seven weeks in one of the strictest lockdowns in the world was taking its toll and cracks were starting to appear. But science is science and numbers don’t lie…..

Which is why it came as a total surprise that restrictions in Auckland were going to be loosened a little, as the first step towards opening up the country. “We’re doing what now?” came the collective response, somewhat surprised at this turn of events. 

The four-tier alert level system, the backbone of New Zealand’s response plan for the past 18 months, suddenly had a three-step “road-map” layered over the top on top of Auckland’s level settings. According to this new plan, Auckland would move up several steps in order to arrive at a lower level. Confused? You wouldn't be the only one.

The first step of the new three level road-map for Auckland meant that groups of two bubbles could meet but only outdoors. In effect that meant that families could be reunited with relatives or two groups of friends could meet. The key message was that it should be outdoors. Also, providing it was a planned event, up to ten people could take part in a recreational activity providing social distancing and correct hygiene measures were applied. 

The assembled media were no doubt a bit surprised, caught off guard even, by this new announcement What road-map? This was the first we'd heard about it? Had we missed a briefing? WTF?

A barrage of questions from the media representatives in the room commenced. Rather than putting the room at ease, the answers were unsettling. The prime minister referred to the elimination strategy, the plan that we had been following since the start of the pandemic in 2020, in the past tense. The director general of health said elimination remained the approach. What was going on?

"So if a group of friends get themselves yoga mats, can we all meet up in the park for a natter?" came one question.

"Yes, if it's an organised event," came the response. A dubious reply to a question designed to prod and probe at the rationale.

Then the toilet question came. And the already wonky looking wheels came off. 

"So presumably if we can meet other family groups outside, it's okay to go to their house for a BBQ?" asked one media representative.

"As long as you remain outside at all times," came the response from the prime minister

"What if you want to go to the toilet?" a reasonable question, "can we use theirs?"

The director general of health appeared to suggest that that particular scenario hadn't been modelled but suggested people took it in turns to visit the loo, assuming no other household members were present. Sensible I suppose and better than suggesting individuals water the geraniums.

"Perhaps you shouldn't stay long enough that it becomes an issue," suggested the prime minister tersely. 

This was not going well. Leaks have always been a problem for politicians but this was ridiculous. In practice it was unlikely that a police officer was going to arrest you for using an inside toilet and escort you from the premises, but this was new territory for New Zealand. Decision making on the spot and appearing to flim-flam a response to a reasonable, and is has to be said, not entirely unexpected question. 

But perhaps the most surprising thing about the whole debacle was that Ardern and Broomfield were uncharacteristically tense and irritable. 

"What about outdoor pools? Can we use those?" came another question.

It was a question too far and the prime minister had clearly had enough

"I've not been briefed on that scenario so we'll look into it and get back to you."

And with that she stepped down from the podium and left the media conference. It had clearly not gone according to plan, unless the plan was to confuse and worry people in which case they did a sterling job. Ardern’s former chief of staff Neale Jones later called it “a long and confusing surrender note”. He might have a point.

In the days that followed further information was issued to try and clarify the plan. It transpired that part of the thinking that had informed the changes announced was the knowledge that the virus had crept into some of the most marginalised communities in Auckland, in transitional and emergency accommodation, among the homeless, where contact tracing is a colossal challenge, and where alert levels often matter little. Aotearoa’s luck appeared to have run out.

In the week that followed, the outbreak broke out of Auckland and headed south and north and case numbers steady spiralled upwards. Then, on the Wednesday that followed, it was announced that the recommended gap between vaccine shots was being reduced from six to three weeks. The message was don't delay - go get vaccinated. 

It maybe that the recent outbreak and the community groups that had been infected posed a particular challenge to control gave need to accelerate down the road (map) but it appeared rushed rather than planned. But there is no need to panic. Just yet.

Yes, the borders have been strengthened, and many have faced economic hardship, but overall the impacts have been far less that in most other countries, and we have had twelve months of relatively normal life. One bad week doesn't a bad campaign make and there is still time to recover some of the lost ground and get clearer messaging out there. 

In the meantime, the focus is on the roll out of the vaccine programme. Encouraging everyone to get their vaccination so we can enjoy our summer. So far this appears to be gaining traction - no doubt spurred by the slowly increasing case numbers outside the Auckland region. Whilst Aotearoa rolls up its sleeves, the challenge for the government will be to recapture the narrative: lay out the rationale, detail the structures being put in place, and avoid the cacophony of mixed messages and scrambled slogans. 

They Say It's Your Birthday

I’ve had some memorable birthdays in my time. Some for obvious reasons and others not so much.

Take for example my birthday in 1987. For reasons now lost to the mists of time, me and my mates decided to take part in a treasure hunt organised by the 6th form college. Not sure what enticed me to spend my celebrations searching muddy fields for clues, but that we did. And thoroughly enjoyed it - although you wouldn’t think that from the photos. We look cold, fed up and not exactly impressed by our surroundings.

Not sure that's correct treasure hunting attire!

That’s not something I can say about my birthday in 2000. On that occasion we marked by 30th by spending the week in Interlaken in Switzerland - one of my favourite places on the planet.  Being October and in the mountains, the weather was a bit changeable but there’s nothing like being in the Alps. We even managed to have a snowball fight on the top of the Jungfrau. 

To help keep the costs of the trip as low as possible, we kept to our usual holiday lunchtime diet of cheese and ham sandwiches - the ingredients for which were readily available from the supermarket and didn’t take much effort in the way of preparation. By the end of the week we were well and truly fed up of cheese and ham but had saved a packed. Well we had to subsidise the beer costs somehow. You can image our joy when we got back to family from the airport and were served as our welcome back snack....you guessed it....cheese and ham toasties!

Snowball fight anyone? 

A few years later we spent my birthday weekend in Robin Hood’s Bay in North Yorkshire. Autumn had definitely arrived and I  think it rained almost all weekend. Still at least the pub was dry. We even managed to avert disaster when my Dad managed to shut the door of the place we were renting…..with the keys locked inside! Thankfully the loo window wasn’t locked and after a little bit of clambering we were back inside. And dry. Climbing through a small loo window after a few pints was quite a feat though.   It could've been very messy indeed.

Then there were the wonderful trips to Bellingham in Northumberland. We would stay in camping pods -  I guess you would call it glamping these days - whilst friends stayed in their caravan. Even though they were essentially nothing more than the equivalent of garden sheds, they were quite comfortable. And how could I forget the time in 2009 on one of those trips when my back seized up and I spent the rest of the trip in agony. Ahh happy days. 

And who could forget my first birthday in New Zealand. It was a very pleasant change to have a spring rather than Autumn celebratory day. And the Auckland weather didn’t for once disappoint. It was a beautiful day with temperatures in the high teens and we’d decided to visit Waiheke - the self claimed island of wine. 

I was so excited to visit Waiheke for the first time, and a newbie when it comes to New Zealand springs, that I forgot to bring a hat with me. A school boy error if I do say so myself. As a sun burnt napper/head would be a rubbish thing to inflict on oneself we had to make an emergency purchase before getting on the ferry. Yes, spending the day in the sun, enjoying beautiful scenery and sipping wine….well there are worse ways to spend a birthday. Even if I was wearing jeans and sweating far more that I should've done. I'm pleased to say that I've got the hang of spring days now. 

Coffee in hand and beer keg ready to go! Oh and a nice new hat of course.

We had big plans for my 50th birthday last year. A trip back to the UK had to be postponed, and as Auckland was just coming out of a Covid induced lockdown, a large gathering was out of the question. No matter. Plan C was just as memorable. We took the safest option and gathered a few friends together for food and drink in our local. We were just about the first ones in to the venue that evening and were definitely the last ones out - we only left because they wanted to lock up for the night! Looking back, I was pretty lucky to be able to celebrate at all. 

But for all a totally different reason my 2021 birthday is going to take some beating on the memorability stakes. I didn’t do anything. Actually, I'll re-phase that. I couldn't do anything. Unfortunately Covid had once again reared its ugly head and Auckland was locked down. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Ironically we’d invested the flight vouchers from our cancelled 2020 trip in return flights to Cairns in Queensland so I was fully expecting to be snorkelling in the Great Barrier Reef on my day of celebration. It was not to be - the trip was cancelled some months earlier and travel outside Auckland was forbidden. 

Faced with the depressing thought of working from home again, I decided to take the day off. All things considered it’s been a pleasant day. I went for a long walk this morning up one of Auckland's many volcano cones - the spring weather was ideal for this - and then spent the rest of the day idling it away. I may have even got a snooze in there. Or at least I think I did - I’ve got a 45 minute gap I can’t account for!

Not a bad place to spend a birthday morning!

Wake up and smell the.....

Well it looks like The rest of New Zealand will finally get its wish - Auckland being separated from the rest of the country. Hurray! No more Jaffas! What am I on about? Read on.

You see for the last seven weeks or so (I’ve actually lost track of time a little bit so I can’t be 100% certain) Auckland has been in lockdown due to a pesky Delta variant outbreak. And boy does New Zealand do lockdowns properly. None of this shopping for shoes, clothes or expensive Hi-Fi malarkey. That’s simply not on. I know because I’ve tried. Well apart from the shoes and clothes aspect anyway. 

Thankfully, largely in part because Auckland did our bit, restrictions were eased in the rest of the country a few weeks ago. So now, whilst the rest of Aotearoa goes about their normal lives, albeit masked up in public, we’re stuck inside. Mostly. Which means that because a large proportion of New Zealand’s population lives in Auckland, 1/3 of the country is in lockdown whilst the rest aren’t. 

To head off any accusations of Jaffa-bias, I will clarify that we’re not actually totally locked-down. A total lockdown would be Level 4 whilst we are currently at Level 3. Ah so what does that mean? Well essentially it's the same as a total lockdown except with take-out. And believe me, that's a big thing in New Zealand - not necessarily for the take-out food but definitely for the morning coffee. 

Popping out for a morning coffee is a bit of a kiwi institution - probably like the rest of the world but it's been a while since I've seen it! A barista made flat-white is just the treat to get kiwis through the harshest of times. Or a long black. I personally don't bother. You see my treat is to sit in my pyjamas (or loungewear as I've started to call it on account of the fact that I'm wearing almost all the time these days), and watch the sun rise from the comfort of the sitting room with a home brewed coffee in hand. Well mug obviously, but you know what I mean. 

The thought of having to get dressed, walk up the street and queue to get my morning cuppa sort of puts me off. It's not that the coffee wouldn't be nice, it's just that it's a lot less bother to put the kettle on. I suppose I could just wander up in my lounge wear - I'm sure no-one would bat an eyelid - but that's a slippery slope. Where would it end? Supermarket shopping? The pub? Work? No best not try it and stick to the kettle and the kitchen.

I could invest in one of those fancy coffee machines with the pods but in all honesty I like the way my plunger coffee tastes. Fairly strong and not bitter in the slightest. No queuing and just a little patience is all that is required. 

So as far as our household goes, Level 3 and Level 4 are interchangeable. Just like pyjamas and loungewear. 

What is surprising is how the rest of the country seems to have forgotten that the largest city is still under strict Covid-19 control measures. Forgotten or just don't care? Until recently I've been assuming it was the former but, hhhmmm, now I'm beginning to wonder. 

Just the other day I was on a video call with a colleague from Wellington and once he noted "Ah, so you're working from home today then?".

"Yes, just like every day for the past seven weeks! And probably for another seven weeks!" came the response. I just about managed to hide my irritation. 

Then, on Friday as I was finishing up my last call of the week, another colleague said "Thanks for your help with that - especially this late on a Friday - now get yourself home."

"Errr I am home....remember!"

"Oh yeah. Well in that case leave the room you're in......"

Honestly, some people.

It is strange to think that outside the Auckland border, New Zealand has returned to normal. Sort of a free world but without Aucklanders. I'm sure that they miss us. Or if they don't then they will. With time. In a bit. Okay maybe not Aucklanders per se but certainly our money!

But it's okay. We've got this. Although case numbers seem to be bobbing around the mid-teens they're not getting any higher and vaccines are rolling out so it's just a waiting game. Waiting I can do. But if you don't mind, I'll just pop the kettle on.......

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STOP PRESS

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Just as I was about to hit publish it's been announced that two cases have been detected outside the Auckland border. And one of them in Raglan - not good news.