She'll Be Right

The French have a saying, well they would wouldn't they (probably accompanied by a Gaelic shrug) 'Vive La Difference'. Typical. Sheesh can't they just get over themselves. I mean what is the point. All cool and calm and then as soon as the heat rises.....Sorry where was I? Oh yes, the French. Or rather their saying. Live life to the full. Or something like that. Enjoy the differences. Indeed.

Since arriving in NZ I have noticed a whole plethora of differences. Some huge. Others small, almost negligible. Which is which. Who knows, or more importantly who cares. But they are there nonetheless. One such recent example is when a hapless traveller tried to get a tax number. One from NZ and the other the UK. I'll let you decide which is which....

Scenario 1

Interior - Post Office

Customer: Hello. I need to apply for a tax number. [Form handed through to the representative]

Representative: Hhmmpphh.

Customer: Is this the right form?

Representative: [silence]

Customer: Errr. Good.

Representative: Do you have a copy of your driving licence?

Customer: [Hands over originals of documents]

Representative: Yes, but where are the photocopies? The application form states clearly in paragraph 13 subsection 5 that photocopies are to be presented for authentication by an approved government employee.

Customer: Errrr

Representative: Speak or leave

Customer: Sorry.

Representative: Speak louder you globulous cretin.

Customer: Errr

Representative: Where is the photocopy you human piece of excrament. You are not worthy to wipe the arse of humanity. You make me sick. BLLLAARRGGHH!!!

Customer: I don't have it. I'm really sorry. Surely there must be something I can do. Please..... Please. I've been in a queue for hours. [whimpers]

Representative: Of course....... COME BACK WITH THE CORRECT PAPERWORK YOU UTTER ARSE!!!!

Scenario 2

Interior - Post Office

Customer: Hello. I need to apply for a tax number. [Form handed through to the representative]

Reprentative: Of course. How are you doing.

Customer: [slightly unnerved by the bonhomie] errr good thanks.

Representative: Let's take a look. Oh, say, do you have photocopies?

Customer: Goodness. No I forgot.

Representative: No worries, I'll just go and take some now.

Customer: Oh, great thanks.

Representative: [after a few minutes] Here you go. Right I'll just fill in the missing bits........ all done. I'll pop these in the post and you should get a tax number in a few days. Is there anything else? 

Customer: [a bit shocked] Errr nope ... cool. Thanks.....

Representative: No worries, she'll be right!