What causes me to do that changes depending upon what mood I'm in or what my energy levels are like. It could be a sudden down pour, catching a glimpse of the blue sea, the lights on the SkyTower or...well just about anything really. And it is amazing to think that not even a year ago we'd never even been to New Zealand. Little did we know, when we set off from the UK in December 2013, that we'd be back living here. Let's try that again. Living. Here. Even typing that has given me cause to stop and just take it all in. It just goes to show you never know what's around the corner.
We never knew, well who would, that we would be marking the anniversary of our first arrival with the fourth month of our residency. Never saw that coming.
And what a four months it has been. But I guess, if you've been reading this outpost of the Internet on a regular basis, then you already knew that. But it hasn't all been plain sailing in the City of Sails. We've had our moments. Although this is a well worn path,and there are plenty of those who have, and who will, make the journey South, there is no manual. Very little in the way of published guidance and no one really tells you just how hard it can be. Yes we knew it was going to take a bit of effort but that was only part of it.
So, whilst I'm in a reflective and almost helpful mood, here are my top five* tough things and tips how to overcome them;
1/. Be prepared to have your world tipped upside down
No really. Be ready. New Zealand is perhaps one of the easiest countries to relocate to but it's all too easy to be lulled into a sense of false security. Yes they drive on the same side of the road, speak the same language, and enjoy a beer of two but it's the small things that bite you on the bum. And wear you down. Simple things like going to the supermarket, where things look familiar but are slightly different. Questions are relentless; "Just where do they put tomato paste?", "Is this like mackerel?", "Will this be the same as.......". Don't laugh. It's hard. And tiring. You start out asking the shop staff a question or two about condiments but before you know it you've magically acquired a personal shopper.
The only was to avoid being a nuisance, or worse getting banned from the establishment is to simply go with the flow. And whatever you do don't try and recreate every menu you had back home. Stop looking for pork pies. You won't find them. (Although strangely you can find Worcester Sauce!). But above all don't shop when your tired. You'll only end up falling out with yourself and going home with a basket of totally incompatible ingredients.
And so what if you buy a tin of tomato sauce thinking it will make a great base for homemade pizzas - only to find that it is actually tomato sauce. You know ketchup. In a tin. WTF? It's still perfectly edible. Just about.
And don't forget - it's supposed to be different. There is no point in coming all this way and then trying to recreate your life from back home. It's the equivalent of going on holiday to Spain and then spending the entire time in English bars and seeking out the best place for fish and chips. As an aside you can buy fish and chips almost everywhere here so that's one less thing to worry about! Enjoy the differences.
2/. Say goodbye to home comforts....for a while at least
Arriving into a new country with only a suitcase to your name seems like a fun adventure. And it is. For a while. Pretty soon you are tired of looking at the same old clothes ("ah it's Monday so it the grey trousers and white shirt combo today") miss having your home comforts and start to wonder if you'll ever see them again. Waving goodbye to your house contents and not seeing them again for twelve weeks is more difficult than you can imagine. What makes it worse is that you can easily buy replacements but the thought of spending money on something when you have a perfectly good one somewhere in the Pacific makes it hard. Why waste good money when, with a little patience, a container full of your stuff will arrive?
Well you know what? If it's really that important go and buy it. You've already taken a huge step by moving to the other side of the world so cut yourself some slack. An additional table lamp, a set of knives and forks or a 'throw' won't break the bank and it may just help take the edge off the frustration. And you know what? Your stuff will arrive and when it does it's like Christmas has arrived early. Unless of course it arrives at Christmas in which case it's like all your Christmases arrived at once. Which they have. It's a really great feeling when they container doors open and there is all of you stuff. Just as you left it months ago.
3/. A Mountain of Things
Make no mistake about it, the first few months are going to be hard work. If your lucky enough to already have a job then you are still going to have to find somewhere to live, open bank accounts, get mobile phones, apply for a tax code, buy a car, change your driving licence, buy insurance, sort out power providers, internet providers.....
It would be very easy to arrive and rush into sorting all this stuff out. Yes finding somewhere to live is kind of a big deal but take your time. Making a decision in a panic won't help. So have a few weekends off. Relax and take in your surroundings and take some time to remember why you came and take stock of what you've achieved so far.
And once you've done that.... GET A F**KING MOVE ON! WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS? A BLOODY HOLIDAY? Oh and get a reliable broadband connection sorted. Yes really. Whether you are a tech nerd or not it will make a huge difference and help sort all the other stuff out.
4/. It Still Rains
If you are coming to New Zealand to escape the British rain then you're in for a shock. It rains. A lot. Well it does in Auckland anyway. Of course we knew that it rained. Well it has to doesn't it? But we didn't know that it rained. I don't think that a day has gone by when it hasn't. And oh boy does it come down. It is torrential. No really. Imagine all the rain in the Lake District for one day in a ten minute deluge. It rains so hard that it makes your head bleed.
May advice to the unwary traveller is this. Be careful. Or don't. You'll either spend the day lugging round a waterproof and brolly and not need it or don't and get soaking wet. And breathable Goretex? Forget it. If you opt to wear a coat then you'll get wet from the inside no matter what. But it's all good. Mother nature has her own fix, whatever your decision. Within half an hour the sun will be baking the streets and, quite conveniently, drying you off.
And besides, if you are feeling a little homesick, what is better than a good bit of rain to remind you of home? Exactly.
5/. Half A World Away
OK so I've saved the worst for last, and it's a really obvious one. A no-brainer. New Zealand is a long way from home, or more importantly a heck of a long way from family and friends. In your head you know it is but it's not until you arrive, and once the excitement or enormity of what you've done subsidies, that you really understand the distance. And time. The distance you can sort of rationalise - it is after all only a flight (or two) away - but being thirteen hours ahead really brings it home. Thirteen hours. Just think about that for a moment. When you're getting ready for work, friends and family back home are closing the hatches and getting ready for bed.
And then there is the seasons. Whilst you're slapping on the sun cream folks back home are wrapping up. And come the winter it'll be summer.
It really does give you a sense of disconnection and there is no easy way to deal with it. No little tricks to help. You've just got to get on and get used to it. Sure having the Internet helps; video calls have come a long way and really shrink the distance, momentarily at least. But it's not the same.
My only advice is to keep sending home those pictures of clear blue skies, sparkling oceans and white sun-soaked sand and pretty soon everyone you knew or loved at home will disown you in a fit of jealousy. Problem solved.
So there you have it - five pitfalls and tips to avoid them. And if all else fails and you're still getting sudden cases of WTFs. Just stop what you're doing. Take a look around and remember why you're where you are. And if that doesn't work.. go to the pub! Case closed.
It'd be churlish of me not to follow my own advice, so here's one I prepared earlier....
* for the sake of alliteration it was going to be ten things but I've got better things to do than sit here all day typing**
** Actually I haven't but you don't need to know that!
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