A Time Traveller's Tale

There can't be many holiday itineraries that promise, not only respite from the worst of the winter weather, but also an opportunity to step backwards in time. You see on this trip we were flying to Tahiti from Auckland; leaving on Wednesday morning but arriving on Tuesday evening. Indeed, the strangeness was brought home when we were sat eating our evening meal on Tuesday night I remarked "Just think, we will have arrived in Tahiti this time today". It was an interesting prospect but one which I was strangely apprehensive about - although I'm quite fond of Tuesdays the thought of have two in a row was a little unnerving.

Well I'm glad to report that the space-time continuum has not been damaged and through the vagaries of the international date line, we arrived in Tahiti in one piece and, thanks to a strong tail wind, ahead of schedule and fifteen hours before we took off. Not bad for a four hour flight - I even managed to fit a movie in!

Ironically though, arriving in Tahiti is very much like time travel. Whilst it could be argued that New Zealand is a microcosm of European life, albeit with a Pacifica twist and better weather, Tahiti is in a world of its own. Other than the occasional Carrefour supermarket, there are no familiar points of reference. 

Being plunged into the mayhem that was unfolding in downtown Papeete in a hire car, with a manual gearbox and driving on the opposite side of the road increased the feeling of disconnection from....well....modern life. The drive was an experience I'd rather not repeat. By the time we left the airport, not only had it suddenly gone dark but it was twenty six degrees and was raining. It was like getting a warm shower. But fully clothed. 

After successfully negotiating the urban traffic, narrowly avoiding the numerous cars that appeared to enter the road in front from nowhere, we were on our way. It was only forty five minutes to our lagoon-side villa but it felt much longer. Now, as well as magically appearing vehicles, I had to contend with random maniac dogs who liked to chase hire cars, pedestrians with a death wish and cyclists riding head-on into traffic to whom lights are a mystery. At one point we passed a cyclist who had decided that the best way to increase his personal danger would be to, and I believe this is the correct term, pop a wheelie for his entire journey. We know this to be true because, as it turns out, his bike didn't have a front wheel! Now I know that most people raised outside the UK think we are too safety conscious but even they might stop to think about taking a bike back from work with a FRONT WHEEL MISSING!!! Well at least it saves on tyres I suppose.

Thankfully we arrived at our villa without hitting a human, dog or errant cyclist. And although it was dark we could already tell it was worth it; coconut juice was in the fridge, the small plunge pool glistened in the moonlight and the crabs were darting across the lawn to safety. Yes crabs. In the lawn. Who needs moles when you have handy subterranean crustaceans. As second Tuesday's go, it was pretty eventful.

We've only been away from Auckland for a few days but the pace of life here us such that it feels like an eternity. In a good way. Unfortunately I know that on Sunday we will have to leave and head back to reality. Back to the future if you like. Which will be a real shame. The only silver lining is that we skip Monday.  Now there's a day that I can truly do without!

You Can Call Me Al

One of the unexpected perks of being able to walk to work, other than an opportunity to witness first hand the manic Auckland morning ballet that is car borne commuting, is to brush shoulders with a true star. Well not quite brush shoulders - that would be rude - but certainly exist in the same space. On the same side of the street even. But I like to think of it as, not just two people who pass on the street, but kindred spirits who are at opposite ends of their prospective journeys. Metaphorically and physically speaking.

You see every morning, usually around the same time and place, I pass none other than Al Pacino. I know! It's amazing isn't it! Al Pacino, star of countless classic movies, Academy Award Winner and thoroughly nice chap, passes me in the street. Just typing these words gives me goosebumps. Obviously, I'd rather it was Robert De Niro but, hey, beggars can't be choosers. And besides Al, as I like to call him, is almost as good.

Quite what Al Pacino is doing cutting people's hair in a suburb of Auckland is beyond me. Maybe he's researching for a new film where the central character is a barber? Or an ex-mobster barber in the witness protection programme? It makes sense. Just think about all those juicy snippets of gossip a barber hears on a daily basis.....

Ok, I'll come clean, it's a fair cop. It's not actually Al Pacino but someone who bears an uncanny resemblance to the second best star of the silver screen. Not only that, as if that wasn't enough, but Al has clearly gone out of his way to look like Al. If you know what I mean. This guy is more Al Pacino than Al Pacino. Except less shouty. In fact silent. Although I think even the Al Pacino would draw the line  at wearing a dress shirt with his own image printed as a repeating pattern. If it's to reinforce just how much like Al Pacino, Al looks then it's not needed. It really isn't. And, I know it's sunny in Auckland, but sunglasses even on a cloudy day are a little over the top. A smidge. The overall effect though is so convincing, that sometimes I forget, and have to fight the urge to shout "Hoo-ha" in his face before rudely asking for his autograph. 

If this is the closest I get to meeting Al Pacino, the real one, then it's a good second best. And pretty handy really.  I'd imagine the having to travel halfway around the world to meet the real deal would take the shine off the experience; what with the jet lag and everything. If you think about it, passing-by somebody who looks like Al Pacino, somebody who embodies everything that Al stands for, on a daily basis surely is better than a single meeting with the original? I'm not sure if there is an official ratio for such a thing. But if there isn't - there should be. 

Anyway I'm very happy with the Al doppelgänger. Passing him always puts a smile on my face, brightens up the walk to work and puts me in a New York frame of mind. Now if I could only find a Bobby De Niro look-a-like my journey to work would be perfect....