Stay Home, Be Kind, Save Lives

Well what a difference a week makes. It’s hard to believe that it was only last Saturday that we sat outside a local bar, enjoying a late afternoon pint and remarking just how quiet it was. And a little weird for it to be that like on a Saturday afternoon.

Little did we know just how weird it was going to get. 

By the time we were dressed and ready to set off for work on Monday, we had already received an email from our employer telling us that from Tuesday the offices would be closed. Then, around 1pm on Monday lunchtime, the Prime Minister made a breathtaking announcement. From Wednesday night, 11:59pm to be precise, the country would be locked down. We were to stay at home and not go out, other then to buy essentials or for exercise. Minimal contact with the outside world. 

If we’d stopped and thought about it, we knew this day was coming. We’d seen the situation develop, first China, Australia, Europe and the US. And now it was spreading in New Zealand. We could sit back and see what happens, monitor this situation and act when the situation got desperate, the PM explained. Or we could take this opportunity to try and head off the virus. At the pass so to speak. It wasn’t going to be easy and she realised that what she was asking the country to do was huge. But the alternative didn’t bear thinking about. That option wasn’t really an option.

“Everything you will all give up for the next few weeks, all of the lost contact with others, all of the isolation, and difficult time entertaining children – it will literally save lives. Thousands of lives.

The worst case scenario is simply intolerable. It would represent the greatest loss of New Zealanders’ lives in our country’s history. I will not take that chance.”

I am in no doubt that the measures I have announced today will cause unprecedented economic and social disruption. But they are necessary.

I have one final message. Be kind.... Go home tonight and check in on your neighbours. Start a phone tree with your street. Plan how you’ll keep in touch with one another. We will get through this together, but only if we stick together. Be strong and be kind.”

I’d like to think that our first thoughts on hearing the announcement were for those less fortunate that us. After all we have a house with plenty of room, a view of a volcano cone and don’t mind each other’s company. Mostly. But our first thought were less charitable than we would care to admit; can we still go running and do we have enough wine? Yes. And no.

So whilst other households were no doubt checking food supplies, counting essentials, making arrangement for their families and checking on relatives and neighbours, we jumped in the car and went to the nearest off licence. Hoping against hope that we weren’t too late!

We weren’t. In fact there was plenty, enough for us to fill our trolley without the remotest feeling of guilt. What was odd though, was that the customers in the shop were very wary of each other. Already taking keeping our distance to heart, to the point were circuitous routes were taken around the isles to get to where we needed to be without invading other’s bubbles. Ahh, bubbles. We will hear a lot more of that word over the coming days. But for now it’s our personal space, the boundaries within which each of us must operate. And stay. For our own health and that of everyone else. Every interaction is a risk. A risk that could burst the bubble. 

So with the car boot loaded, we headed home where we will stay for the next four weeks. The traffic was busier then usual, the evening peak had arrived early as households dashed around to make their final arrangements. Hard to think that in just two days time the entire country would be locked down - holed up in our individual castles whilst we all wait it out. Being asked to stay home and watch TV didn’t, on the face of it, sound like a big ask. But we’re sociable creatures, even if we don’t like to admit it, and New Zealand is an outdoors kind of place. This isn’t going to be easy but the reward far outstrips the cost. Like the Prime Minister said stay home, be kind, save lives. 

The Big Shop

Well that escalated quickly! It was only last week when I was expressing the virtues of the Kiwi psyche and telling the rest of the world to cool their jets.  Yet here we are, just 48 hours from a country-wide lock down and the world is a totally different place. Panic shopping has arrived in New Zealand and that was before today’s announcement. They say that the past is a foreign country but if the events of the last seven days are anything to go by then it should be amended to the past is a different planet.

And it was all going so well and I thought everything was under control. Our supplies were sufficient but I decided that I needed some bacon to aconmpany the scrambled eggs I was planning for dinner - you can only eat so much gormet food before you need some simpler stuff. But alas no. Not a slice to be found. Not a sausage in sight as the shelves had been stripped bare of anything remotely meat based as if a swarm of particularly ravenous carnivorous locusts had descended. Actually I lie, there was a bag of pre-cooked sausages available but crisis or no crisis I just couldn’t. To be fair I didn’t even know that they existed until we finished a race once and we asked to man the BBQ. “They only need warming through “, came the sage advice.  “Bollocks to that”, I thought because these things were a pale pink colour and totally unappetising. So burnt the arse off them - well it wouldn’t be a proper barbie without some burnt bits!

It’s probably just as well there wasn’t anything edible to buy as the queues to the checkouts were enormous. At first glance I thought someone had decided to break the somber mood by trying to break the world record for the longest indoor conga line. I weighed up the situation and decided that I’d use more energy queuing to buy what little produce there was than the benefit I’d get from the things I was about to buy, so stormed out in a huff. Well a half-huff because I didn’t have the energy. 

Despite the lack of meat products, I still wasn’t worried. You see just before this all kicked off, the day before the first restrictions were announced, we did our Big Shop. Our timing was perfect. But why a Big Shop? Well not long after we arrived in New Zealand we realised that we really didn’t want to spend a good chunk of our free time shopping for groceries. No, we wanted to get out and see a bit of our new home. Why queue on a Saturday morning when instead you could be on the beach, running around the park or having brunch in a seaside café? Bulk shopping was the way to go and so the Big Shop was born.

So over the last four years or so, it’s not been unusual for us to place an order online and go and pick up $800 of groceries two or three months. And of course, being British, apologise profusely for any inconvenience we may have caused for spending so much money on groceries. As an aside, there’s nothing quite like the sight of three shop assistants wheeling three trolley’s full of groceries across the car park to make you feel just a little embarrassed. Except now we can’t. Not without looking like the most selfish bastards this side of the Bombays. Not that we would be allowed to buy 24 cans of chick peas anyway. All items are limited two per customer and that amount of legumes in one place is probably considered to be a public health risk.

We do have a largely vegetarian-based diet and consume more than our fair share of beans, lentils and other assorted pulses. It is healthy, but the downside to that kind of fibre-heavy diet is that a regular supply of toilet roll is required. Toilet roll, for some inexplicable reason, has suffenly become the main currency. Forget Bonds or Gold, paper rolls is the way to go. Well that and pasta. 

Anyway, because of bacon-gate, on Saturday we popped to see our local butcher. I swear he almost looked embarrassed as we opened the door and entered the shop. “Sorry guys, we’ve not got a lot left”. Admittedly the range was not quite as wide as it used to be but it wasn’t bad. There were plenty of snags (sausages for those not from these parts), some mince and a few bits of pork. But the steaks, chops and other meat based produce had gone. 

He explained that a new customer had been in earlier and bought $500 of produce and didn’t really care what it was. Just filled the boot of his car and was off. Probably never to be seen again. Our bill came to $100 which was what we normally would spend for two months worth of food. Admittedly with more sausage than we knew what to do with but hey, what you gonna do?

If that was the attitude of your average shopper last week, who knows what chaos is currently unfolding in the diary isles of supermarkets up and down the country. Last week the borders were all but been closed, except to residents and citizens, and today it was announced that we are going into enforced self-isolation on Wednesday for four weeks! It was explained that there will be plenty of food and we are to shop normally, whatever counts for normal these days. We have been reassured that food will still be coming in to the supermarkets but a month is a long time. 

Thankfully because of our Big Shop we can sit out the worst of it and not descend into panic buying. Well almost. I do admit that my first thought after the lockdown was announced was not about whether we had enough food or toilet roll to last us a month, but whether we could get by with our somewhat diminished alcohol supplies. The four bottles of wine and half a case of beer just wasn’t going to get us through. It’s going to get tense and  what’s the point of being house bound when there’s nothing to drink? The only thing for it was a quick dash to the bottle shop to stock up. And we weren’t the only ones. Others had clear had the same thoughts and decided to top up. I wouldn’t really call buying three cases of wine panic buying. It’s just a sensible precaution against the forthcoming incarceration. 

So with our Big Shop in the cupboards and alcohol supplies replenished we’re okay for a while yet. Plenty of wine, chick peas, lentils, black beans and rice to go around. Oh, and sausages, we mustn’t forget the sausages!

The Far Corner

It’s quite odd the things that are hard to find in New Zealand. Take clotted cream for example. You would have thought that a dairy based product wouldn’t be hard to come by in a country that boasts milk powder as one of its key exports. But no, it’s almost impossible to get. In over five years, I’ve only seen it once and that was in a supermarket in Picton. I should have bought some there and then, but decided against it as we were about to embark on a three day hike. Three days of sun and lack of refrigeration for a precious dairy product didn’t seem like a good idea.

As well as hard-to-come-by dairy items, we pay a premium price for a whole heap of other consumables; furniture is pricy, electrical goods just plain expensive and clothes? Well it’s cheaper to buy them from Marks and Spencer’s and have them delivered 12,000 miles to your doorstep.

But that’s the price we pay for being a long way from everywhere. The air miles on produce and products adds up and we pay a premium price for goods we import. But there is a solution. A work-around if you like. So you don’t  want to pay $5 for an avocado? Well don’t buy it out of season. Hold off your craving until February and get 3 for a dollar. Then, they’ll be practically giving them away as the avo trees in New Zealand hang heavy with the trendy green-fleshed fruit. 

It’s the same for limes. Buy them when the New Zealand trees are plentiful and you can get a bag full for next to nothing. Want them in the winter? Well don’t be surprised to pay $20 a kilo. Just find something else to put in your gin and tonic or do without.

New Zealand isn’t on the way to anywhere, unless you’re holidaying in the Antarctic, and you have to be pretty determined to get here - especially if you’re under the impression that we’re just next door to Australia. It’s nearly a four hour flight from Sydney to Auckland so hardly somewhere you can just pop to for the day. And add that to a twenty hour flight from the UK and you’ve got to be pretty fond of airline food and dodgy movies to want to make the trip. It honestly is worth it when you get here, but the journey is something else.

But sometimes, being in the bottom corner of the globe has its advantages. And before some smart aleck says anything, I’m fully aware that globes don’t have corners. I’m just saying that if they did, New Zealand would be in it. And that’s assuming that the map makers have remembered to put us on in the first place. There has been a few occasions in recent years where we just got missed off. Australia was there but no Aotearoa.

Being the last stop, and a distant one at that, does mean that trouble seems just that little bit further away. The reason that tyrants and megalomaniacs have boltholes here, isn’t because of their fondness for Pineapple Lumps, but because they know that this will be one of the last places that will be habitable when they’ve destroyed the rest through greed and their unquenchable thirst for power. New Zealand is viewed as a safe haven, a port in an increasingly stormy planet. Providing you ignore the fact that it’s built on a volcano field and is prone to the odd earthquake or two. 

There’s certainly nothing quite like a global pandemic to help remind us that remoteness does have its advantages. At the time I write this, an increasing number of the world’s countries are asking their citizens to self-isolate - to remove themselves from general circulation and keep their distance. It could be argued that New Zealand, through no other means than its location, has been doing that all along. Self-isolation as a nation. We currently have six reported cases of Covid-19 and all of those were brought in from elsewhere. There’s no doubt that this number will rise, but for the moment it seems to be under control. 

But complacency is just as dangerous as the virus so that’s why yesterday the Government implemented a plan to limit the spread of the disease. From today, anyone arriving into the country has to self-isolate for 14 days and in a stroke the Government effectively stopped people entering New Zealand. Unless spending two weeks inside a hotel room was someone’s idea of a great holiday. And, who is going to want to travel to Australia for a long weekend if it requires two weeks in isolation on the return.

Despite the few cases, people here are still taking it seriously but without the hysteria and panic that appears to be going on elsewhere. Maybe it’s the She’ll be right attitude that’s ingrained in the Kiwi psyche? Or maybe it still seems someway off. Whatever the reason, we still have toilet rolls in the supermarket, hand sanitiser is freely available for free on counter tops in shops and pubs, and yes there’s a plentiful supply of pasta. Providing, of course, that you don’t mind paying the price for it to be brought here!

Summer’s Almost Gone

Well it’s been a while. Nearly five months since I last put thumb to phone. I’d like to report that I’ve done something amazing in that time; climbed a mountain, written a novel or learned to tap dance. Alas no. The only hill I’ve climbed is Mount Eden, I haven’t even read a book and as for dancing.... well there was an incident at the office Christmas party but the less said about that the better...

So what have I been doing? Well watching the world go by. And if I’m being honest, standing back with equal amounts of amazement and horror as it all goes tits-up. What on earth is going on with the world? Lots but they’re subjects for another day.. 

At least we've had our best summer in a decade to keep us occupied. Actually I don’t know if that’s true, but certainly one of the best since we arrived. Although as I look out the window on a grey and wet Auckland you wouldn’t think that we had. But it’s been great...for some. Well most. But as the fortieth day without a such as a drop of rain passed, we did start to wonder if it would ever rain again. 

Farmers and the water company were seriously worried. Still are. We haven’t had anywhere near enough rain to replenish the supplies but what can you do? Blame it on the immigrants was one National MP’s opinion. Really? Didn’t know that we had such powers. Oh, wait! He wasn’t really taking about white, European immigrants now was he. I guess not because they were still washing their SUVs Every Sunday, watering the gardens and filling their swimming pools with aplomb. What is it with the incessant need to wash your car every Sunday? Ours hasn’t been washed in nearly two years and it’s fine. Or at least I think it is. I can’t for the layers of crud. 

With the weather being this great, we didn’t even contemplate going away for Christmas. We stayed in Auckland and enjoyed the peace and quiet as the city emptied out onto baches and beaches around the country. Plus we have a mortgage to pay so it made sense to enjoy all the festivities that the City of Sails had to offer. And Auckland certainly served up a stunner!

But, as a wise football pundit once remarked, it’s a game of two halves. Whilst the north was enjoying a record breaking streak of weather, those in the south were less fortunate. It rained. A lot. No I mean A LOT. It was still record breaking, but for all the wrong reasons. Parts of Fiordland had nearly a metre of rain over two days. Just let that sink in for a moment. A metre of rain in 48 hours. Roads were washed out, towns cut off and people went missing in the mountains. Yet, a short flight away, Aucklanders were complaining that it was too hot to sleep and the beer wasn’t cold enough. 

So here we are, the nights are getting darker, the temperatures are slowly dropping and Autumn feels like it’s just around the corner. Just the other day, it was a definite chilly 16 degrees as the sun came up and, for the first time in a while, I contemplated putting a short sleeve t-shirt on for my morning run. I didn’t . But I thought about it. And surely that’s the point?

In a few weeks, the clocks will go back and thoughts will turn to Easter, and with that winter is a short hop away. 

But it’s all good. Although Easter might only be a few weeks away, we’ll soon be tucking into pumpkin pie and hanging Halloween lanterns, ready to welcome back the Summer from its sojourn on the other side of the globe. What comes around, goes around.