We Are Not Amused

If there’s one thing that’s guaranteed to hog the headlines more than rugby, it a visit by members of the Royal Family. In fact, since The Royal Couple (TRC) touched down a few days ago, there hasn’t been a single mention of The ABs. At least I don’t think so. Err, well I assume not because since TRC arrived in New Zealand I’ve been giving the paper and its media offshoot a wide berth.

Actually that’s not entirely true. I did, whilst munching on my lunch on Monday, accidentally spot an article that picqued my curiosity;

“Where to go to avoid the royal hoopla!“, shouted the headline, it’s bold lettering almost jumping off the page. Not this was interesting, if not a little ironic considering that New Zealand is (generally) a great place to avoid any such royal shenanigans. Was it suggesting anywhere convenient? Alas no. Only places where the royal circus wasn’t going to be visiting. I went back to my lunch and munched on a carrot.

For the past few days, TRC have been in our fair city of Auckland and boy has it been wet! Not typical British-stiff-upper-lip wet but proper monsoon-soaked-down-to-your-undies-if-you-dare-step-out-for-even-a-second wet. Despite that, it didn’t seem to phase TRC and as they got about getting about their business. Fair play. 

To make sure their visit went without any incidents, one half of the city centre was closed off to traffic which, given Aucklands dire traffic problems, was probably a wise move. Especially when you consider just how rubbish the drivers are - I may have mentioned this previously - and the cities sudden infatuation with green electric scooters. How bad would it look on news channels across the globe if a member of the Royal Family was filmed going arse-over-tit as a lime green scooter whizzes past? Indeed.

But if the weather misbehaving wasn’t enough, New Zealand had another trick up its sleeve. To round off their New Zealand experience Mother Nature served up a good old slice of drama in the form of an earthquake. This, a magnitude-6.2 shake wasn’t huge by New Zealand standards, but it was enough to give Parliament enough pause to....well....pause and everyone else a good rattle. 

The press, maybe short of a new angle for TRC, were happy to report that they weren’t harmed by the quake and that they battled on and kept to their schedule. Good for them! It is perhaps less impressive when geographic location had more to do with it than the aforementioned British stiff upper lip. But good effort anyway.

This evening, they’re visiting the museum in the park behind our house. It’s not that I’m paying any attention to their itinerary, or that I’m invited them round for tea and biscuits later, but it’s hard not to know with all these helicopters buzzing around. I can hardly hear myself type.

Despite my protestations above, it’s generally a good thing for New Zealand to have such high profile visitors - it certainly puts the country on the map - and if nothing else it deflects the country’s obsession with everything rugby. For a short while anyway.

In a few days everything will be back to normal. The world’s press will look for another circus - there are plenty of those at the moment - and we can go back to being the country at the edge of the world that does things in its own quiet, yet magnificent way.

Happy Returns

I’ve had some really memorable birthdays over the years, some marking milestones and others just for the sheer audacity of making it through another year unscathed.

The trip to Switzerland in 2000 to celebrate my 30th birthday was one such milestone. How could I forget staring out of the window of a train whilst it climbed slowly up and through a Swiss mountain to Jungfraujoch. Shame it was so foggy and cold at the top. But hey, it was October. Then, upon our arrival back into the UK, we swapped the majestic alps for the tranquil Yorkshire Dales and a birthday celebration with my family.

My 40th was spent with friends in a large farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. I still marvel at the success of that weekend and in particular wonder how-on-earth the delivery driver of our rather large curry order managed to find the house in the pitch black. Especially as, he was quick to point out, he had a phobia about sheep! Killer sheep I presumed at the time but it didn’t seem appropriate to ask.

Then, of course, there was my first birthday in the Spring. How what a difference half a world makes. Basking in the sun certainly made a change from sheltering in the rain, even if I did miss out on our traditional trip to Bellingham.

Then there are other. Others whose details are somewhat lost to the mists of time.....

I have recently unearthed a box of jumbled photos. Well, when I say unearthed, it was actually tucked away at the bottom of a drawer in the study and has been there ever since we left the UK and arrived in New Zealand. Anyway, much to my pleasure, and no doubt my friends horror, I’ve had a truly enjoyable time sifting through this treasure trove of memories and sharing the results on the internet. Although, if I’m being honest, the true enjoyment has been putting some order into the jumbled chaos. I do like a good sort.

So with all of the memorable birthdays mentioned above, quite why I ended up standing in a muddy, ploughed field just outside our hometown of Hartlepool in 1987 on my 17 birthday is a bit of a mystery. I think it had something to do with a treasure hunt or an orienteering challenge, but I’m not really sure. What I do remember, very vividly, is getting Lloyd Cole and the Commotions’ rather fantastic second album Easy Pieces on CD from my parents. It was a good choice for a gift. Not only was it an album that I wanted, but it was the very same one that I had already bought for my Dad’s birthday just a few days later. After all, why buy an album for yourself when you can just buy it a gift and then copy it? I suppose there are worse places to spend your birthday than in a muddy field with friends....which sort of reminds me of all those camping trips we squeezed in before the weather really turned nasty. It’s almost as if by going camping in October we were denying that autumn, and by association, winter was on its way.

As for today? Well the sun is just poking its head over the horizon and today has all the hallmarks of a typical Auckland spring day. A little cool at first then warming to a very pleasant 18 degrees with the chance of some rain later. Of course. Whatever the weather throws at me, I’m sure there’ll be some running involved and perhaps a beer or two with friends. And who knows perhaps I can find a muddy field, just beyond the gaze of the city, to go and stand in and wonder why on this day, some 31 years ago, it seemed such an attractive proposition. 

Cheers!