Wednesday 13 February 2019

Bug Bears

I’ve got a theory......

When you arrive somewhere new, it’s only natural to seek out the familiar - something that you can relate to and ground yourself in your new surroundings.

For some it’s a familiar food, for others it’s a television or radio programme. Whatever gets you through the day. Just a little bit of something to keep you on your upright axis. After a while, and how long will depend upon the strangeness of your environment, you start to compliment your old familiar favourites with new sounds, smells, tastes and experiences. Then, without you even realising it, you have a whole new set of familiar things and have grounded yourself in your new environment. You’ve got a brand new comfort zone.

I know this to be true because it happened to us. Little by little we started to appreciate the new the things around us as we slowly adjusted and settled in to our new surroundings. It could be the way certain destinations were announced on the train each morning or the odd beep that New Zealand pedestrian crossings make. These things slowly began to become familiar and intertwine with our everyday lives.

All of which is a rather elaborate, long winded and no doubt unnecessary way of introducing you to the Bug Bears. Shortly after we arrived, NZ Bus began running an ad campaign on their fleet to promote more considerate travel. I can’t comment on whether it was an effective campaign as we didn’t see behaviours before, but it certainly had an influence on us. Not that we were particular unsociable bus passengers, at least we don’t think we were, but it became a welcome sight as we travelled around our new city.

Settling down into our favourite seat - doesn’t everyone have one of those? - the first thing we looked for was the Bud Bear poster. Which Bug Bear would we see today? Would it be a new character or an old familiar? How many others could we name? Well is passed the time anyway.

Then, without warning, they were gone. Replaced without ceremony with a new campaign. I’d like to think that we cared. But we hardly even noticed. We’d moved on and found new things to become old things. 

Gone but not forgotten, so here for prosperities sake are the Bug Bears......



Bloody Ray and his aisle blocking antics! Move down the bus and let other people on. Evidently, aisle blocking is a thing but is not something that I saw a lot of, and even if it was, does it deserve to be number 1? I seriously doubt it. Which takes us to.....


Now this, I can relate to. There is absolutely no excuse for dropping stuff in the bus only to leave your fellow,passengers fuming as an empty can rolls up and down the floor of the bus. Do us a favour Lenny and sort yourself out. Put your mess in a bin when you get off the bus - you can’t miss it - it’s the one that has been conveniently placed right opposite the bus door when you get off. You know, the one that you almost always walk into....



Freddy is just a slob. Princess drool for the bus travelling age, no doubt content is his laid back and nonchalant attitude at the expense of everyone else. Again, not something that was prevalent so maybe it was a preemptive strike?



Now this.....this.....should’ve been way up top. Number 1. Prime spot. In some ways it’s comforting to know that Barney is the same the world over. Or Bertie or Belinda for that matter. Yes it’s great to get a double seat to yourself, but not when others need the seat. Looking out of the window and trying to pretend that you haven’t noticed what’s going on doesn’t let you off the hook. Maybe we should instigate the German beer keller tradition and start sitting on the knees of Barney?



Don’t stuff your face Marvin! It’s rude and a little unpleasant. Actually not really a thing, or at least I don’t think so, but it was obviously important enough for NZ Bus to warn us about. It does remind me of a trip I once took in Greece. But that involved fish and high humidity so let’s leave that for another day.



It’s a bit unfortunate that NZ Bus chose a female bear for this one. After all we’re all guilty of this particular bug bear. But why let a little bit of sexism get in the way of s good chuckle. 



OMG Jase! What are you playing at? Get you head off that poor guy’s lap! Again this is not something that I have experienced in Auckland so maybe it’s confined to the late night buses - I like to be tucked up by ten. There has been occasions when I’ve nodded off, especially after a few beers in the afternoon, but I’m pretty sure it will only have been a close friend that I drooled on. Or at least I think so....



Now this really bugs me. It’s not the noise that gets on my goat, not that you can have a goat in downtown Auckland, but instead it’s the hint of a song. As soon as I hear the faintest hint of a song I immediately try and figure out what it is, who recorded it and in what year. Mind you, even If it was played at normal volume I’d probably struggle these days. Speaking of volume, just how loud does music have to be before your ears start to bleed? Just asking. 



Yuk! Pete stinks! Actually, I have a confession to make. I may be Pete. You see on at least one occasion I have boarded a bus on the way back from a run, dripping in sweat and grateful for a lift home. I have tried to minimise the pong by sitting away from everyone else and not leaning back on the seat but I’m not sure this was enough. In fact I know this wasn’t enough. It’s generally been okay at the start, as the bus was empty, but I can only apologise for anyone getting on at later stops. Sorry. I’d like to say it won’t happen again but I rather fear that it might.

I still wonder why they stopped at Number 9. Surely that could be found at least one more. Ten is a much more acceptable number. So NZ Bus, if you looking for inspiration and a reason to bring back the campaign here’s a few from me;

No Hop Henry - why is it that some people refuse to embrace the cashless system for bus travel in Auckland? It’s not difficult. After a small and modest outlay for the card you save heaps every time you travel. And being a tourist is no excuse either. We have similar cards for other cities in Asia Pacific and it’s so much easier than holding up a bus full of people whilst you rummage around for the correct change. 

Single Door Sally - buses have two doors for a reason. You get on at the front and off at the rear door. Trying to get off through the front door whilst others board the bus is just plain stupid. And holds up the bus.

Lost Lionel - Here’s a tip for you Lionel. Bus drivers aren’t tour guides. Getting on the bus and asking directions is not a cool thing to do. New Zealand is a very friendly place so rather than annoy a bus load of people and distract someone who is trying to keep to a timetable just ask someone in the street. Chances are they will know exactly where you are looking for and may even offer to take you there. 


So there you have it, The Bug Bears. Out and not-so-proud. Right there me, I’m off to catch a bus to town. It’s a shame the bears won’t be there to keep me company on my short journey. Perhaps they will. In fact No Hop Henry is almost certain to make an appearance....